What's going on, men. Welcome back to The Man Talk Show. I'm Connor Beaton. Today we're going to talk about the single most important thing to the success of your relationship. And this might be one of the most important elements to being able to lead in your relationship. Last year I put out this video that's done incredibly well called How to Lead in Your Relationship or Five Steps to Lead

in Your Relationship. You can find it on my YouTube channel. You can find it on my podcast. And I got a lot

of questions from men asking me to go a little bit deeper into some of those principles. And recently,

I was having a session with a man and we were working on some conflict that had come up in his

relationship.

And he said, you know, every time that my, my woman gets a little fiery, some of her anger

starts to come out or she starts to get sad. Like I find myself freezing up or I become

reactive and it's hard for me to manage. And I said, okay, well, let's make this very clear. Your mission in your

marriage, your mission in your relationship is to outregulate her. It's to outregulate your partner.

And it's the same with your kids. It's the same with your colleagues, right? Your mission is to

outregulate that other person. Now, what does that mean to outregulate? And it's not to say that they don't have their own responsibility. It's not to say that you need to parent your wife or your girlfriend. It's not to say any of those things. Right. So don't misinterpret my words because I can hear the comments coming already. Like, I'm not my wife's father or I don't need to parent my girlfriend. It's like, no, you don't.

But you still need to parent my girlfriend.

It's like, no, you don't.

But you still need to regulate yourself, right?

You still need to be in charge of your internal charge.

So what does it mean to regulate yourself?

Well, if you just look at the definition of to regulate, it means to control or to maintain,

and I like the word maintain here, maintain the rate or the speed of a process that it operates

properly, okay, to maintain the rate or a speed of something, a machine, or process, etc., so that it

operates properly.

Now, what does that mean for us?

It means that we need to maintain the internal rate, the internal speed,

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