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Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

How to Stand Up For Yourself | Dr. Sunita Sah | LHS Classic

Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

YAP Media Network | Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Relationships, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.7890 Ratings

🗓️ 2 April 2026

⏱️ 49 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

There are moments when you know something does not feel right, and yet you still hear yourself saying yes. You go along. You stay quiet. You tell yourself it is not worth making an issue of it. I’m revisiting this conversation with Dr. Sunita Sah because it speaks so clearly to that experience, and to the very real reasons it can be so hard to stand up for yourself. In this episode of Love, Happiness and Success, we talk about what gets in the way of speaking up, saying no, and staying true to your values when there is pressure to do otherwise. Dr. Sah, a physician, organizational psychologist, and author of Defy: The Power of No in a World That Demands Yes, shares why so many thoughtful, capable people struggle with assertiveness and personal boundaries, especially when being agreeable has been rewarded for so long. We also talk about the hidden cost of compliance, her research on “insinuation anxiety,” and what it looks like to practice speaking up in a grounded, honest way. This conversation offers a powerful reminder that standing up for yourself is not about becoming harsh. It is about staying connected to your values and trusting yourself enough to act on them. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 The Limits of Compromise 08:37 Why It Can Feel So Hard to Speak Up 18:30 The Fear Beneath Staying Quiet 27:09 Saying Yes When You Mean No 38:32 The Five Stages of Defiance If you’re noticing how often you override yourself, dismiss your own discomfort, or keep saying yes when something in you is asking for a no, this may be worth exploring more deeply. You can schedule a free consultation with me or a member of my team. It’s a private, supportive space where you can talk about what feels hard right now and what you want to feel different. We’ll help you get matched with the right counselor or coach so you can move forward with more clarity, confidence, and trust in yourself. xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby Growing Self This episode is proudly sponsored by Upwork — and it's a sponsorship I said yes to because I actually use it. When you need specialized talent fast, Upwork gives you access to vetted professionals across 125+ categories, from marketing to web development to operations support. No long recruiting cycles. No guesswork. Just the right person, when you need them. Check it out at upwork.com — posting a job is free. Shopify — The all-in-one platform for building and growing your online business. Visit⁠ shopify.com/lhs⁠ to explore their tools and access exclusive listener discounts.

Transcript

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0:00.0

On love happiness and success, we talk a lot about relationships, how to build connection,

0:07.2

how to meet people in the middle, how to show up with empathy and lead with love.

0:12.2

And I stand behind all of that, but here's something else.

0:17.8

This approach has limits.

0:19.9

There are moments in life when the right move isn't to bridge

0:23.6

the gap or flex in someone else's direction. It's to hold your ground to say no, to defy.

0:32.0

Knowing the difference between these moments is a skill and one that most of us were never taught. And that's why I'm so excited

0:39.5

to re-release one of my all-time favorite interviews, my conversation with Dr. Sunita Shaw.

0:45.9

She's an organizational psychologist and the author of Defi. This book is now available,

0:52.4

newly in paperback. And honestly, it couldn't be more relevant to what we're talking about on this podcast and the limits of compromise.

1:01.3

Dr. Shaw's research, I respect so much, she reframes defiance, not as stubbornness or conflict, but as a crucial act of integrity when applied intentionally.

1:15.3

She gives you a real roadmap for speaking up when it does matter most.

1:20.5

So listen to the episode, get your takeaways, and then check out the book.

1:25.3

I think it's going to change something for you.

1:28.5

I know it did for me.

1:34.1

How often do you say yes when you really feel no?

1:47.9

And that's why today we're diving deep into the art and science of building a strong backbone that will allow you to finally assert yourself in your relationships, on the job,

1:54.8

and in the world. My guest is none other than Dr. Sanita Saw. She's a physician, an award-winning professor at Cornell

2:03.6

University, and the author of Defy, The Power of No in a World that Demands Yes. Welcome, Dr. Saw.

2:12.8

It's a pleasure to be here. I'm so excited to talk with you. Your research is absolutely fascinating and it has such an

2:21.8

interesting focus. Understanding these forces that compel people to obey or go along with things

2:30.8

that are really not in alignment with their values versus times when people feel

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