How To SEDUCE & INFLUENCE Anyone With Psychology - TRY THIS & SEE RESULTS | Vanessa Van Edwards

Tom Bilyeu's Impact Theory

Impact Theory

Business, News Commentary, News

4.7 • 5.2K Ratings

🗓️ 19 January 2023

⏱️ 118 minutes

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Summary

Social settings either get you hype and excited or they make you think of a thousand other things you’d rather do and any excuse that will get you off the hook from having to go. When your fear of being around people and having to interact with them costs your dreams, your opportunities, and your growth, you have to do something different.

Vanessa Van Edwards, a.k.a. The recovering awkward person that sold millions of copies of her bestselling books, Captivate and Cues, has more tips than you can remember, so get the pen and paper or your favorite note-taking app ready. Her work with her company the Science of People has been dedicated to helping you learn to stop being awkward, start better conversations, connect with people and understand their verbal and nonverbal cues.

Some key points Vanessa share in this masterclass is:

How to master charisma Why you want to listen to your gut Understanding your level of openness, neuroticism and conscientiousness Understanding your psychology is just the beginning. Knowing how to interpret cues in different social contexts and when to address them is next level.

Vanessa gives away key ips for understanding yourself and the people around you. Warmth and competence is the magic dose to look for.

Books to check out by Vanessa Van Edwards: Captivate: https://amzn.to/3IVvvZh Cues: https://amzn.to/3wbVxjt

Follow Vanessa Van Edwards:

Website: https://www.scienceofpeople.com/

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Twitter: https://twitter.com/vvanedwards

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Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/vvanedwards/

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Transcript

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0:00.0	We find lower lid flexes super attractive.
0:03.5	And I don't mean like physically attractive.
0:05.0	I mean we want people who want to deeply listen to us.
0:09.0	That's why when you look at really hot actors or models or blue steel, they're always...
0:17.0	Listen, I always would have hard truth over ignorant bliss, right? If she's ready for it, I'd rather
0:23.0	teach it to her. I also think, like, it allows you to choose if you're going to respond. You don't
0:27.4	always have to respond to a cue. So, for example, this is a cue. This study really changed the way
0:32.2	I think about cues. I talk about it in the book a little bit, but it really had a major impact in my life,
0:38.4	which is a study very simply where if you see a cue of social rejection, okay, so cues of
0:45.2	social rejection.
0:45.4	Where you're being rejected.
0:47.0	So if you see or decode a cue of social rejection on someone else, which is why we're
0:50.8	very aware of cues without realizing it.
0:52.6	So cues of social rejection are eye rolls, scoffs, even a social rejection tone of voice. Like, yeah, I don't
0:59.5	really like that. We know that's a social rejection tone of voice. Okay. When we see a cue of
1:06.3	social rejection, our own field of vision widens.
1:13.3	We literally see more.
1:19.0	Our pupils change when we spot in less than a second a cue of social rejection.
1:26.8	This is really helpful to know because it means if you see a negative cue, your body knows you have to look out for more.
1:28.2	You have to see. And why do we take it more? We have to see, is anyone else sending a cue of social rejection? Is everyone else okay?
1:31.9	Do I have an escape route? What's my plan of action? So if your body is already doing this,
1:36.7	if my daughter, at three and a half, already is doing that, why not give her a name for what that
	...

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