Hello and welcome to the upgrade, the podcast from the team at LifeHacker, where we help you improve your life one week at a time.

I'm Melissa Kirsch, editor-in-chief of LifeHacker. And I'm Alice Bradley, Deputy Editor of Lifehacker.

And today we're talking about how to salvage a romantic relationship, or keep a good one

from going south.

We're talking to the last person on earth you'd expect to be invested in such a topic,

a divorce lawyer.

James J. Sexton is a divorce lawyer who has spent his career working with couples whose

marriages are dissolving. Now he's using what he's learned about crappy marriages to help people

keep theirs healthy. His new book is, If You're in My Office, it's already too late.

A divorce lawyer's guide to staying together. Jim, thank you so much for being here.

Thank you for having me.

So you're described by former clients as the sociopath you want on your side? Yes. I'm in a weird

profession because it's the only profession where someone would come in and sit across from you and say,

I heard you're a ruthless evil son of a bitch. And they mean it as a compliment.

Like that's why I'm here.

I heard you're just evil and vicious.

You're a pit bull, your heart.

And I understand where that comes from.

That comes from the fact they're feeling very exposed

and they want someone to sort of be their hero or champion or protect them.

Because I'm a combination between a shield and a weapon. You know, I'm a shield in the sense that I'm protecting them from the attacks from the other side,

but I'm a weapon in the sense that you point me at the other side,

...