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The Alli Worthington Show

How to Raise Emotionally Strong Boys with David Thomas

The Alli Worthington Show

Alli Worthington

Health & Fitness, Self-improvement, Education, Society & Culture

4.8634 Ratings

🗓️ 22 August 2022

⏱️ 43 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Hey, hey! Welcome back to the show! Today’s episode will be so helpful to anyone who has a boy in their life that they care about deeply.  David Thomas joins me today to talk about raising emotionally strong boys. He’s spent 25 years counseling boys and young men. After all, we live in a world that often bombards our boys with messages like “don’t feel” or “don’t ask for help.” Both are harmful messages and, unfortunately, ones that many of them absorb throughout their lifetimes.  Listen in as David and I discuss how we can best communicate with the boys (and even the men) in our lives, along with practical ways to help them develop new vocabulary and skills that will better serve them over time.  As the mom of five boys, you know I listened closely to David’s advice in this episode, my friends. Such wisdom! David is the director of Family Counseling at Daystar Counseling Ministries in Nashville, Tennessee. He has co-authored ten books, including his two latest titles, Raising Emotionally Strong Boys and Strong and Smart: A Boy’s Guide to Building Healthy Emotions.  Listen in to learn more about: What causes boys to instinctively begin to channel all primary emotions (fear, sadness, confusion, disappointment) into anger around ages 9-10 Some red flags may indicate the boys in our lives are struggling emotionally and how we can help them recognize, regulate, and repair those emotions How Jesus is the perfect example of healthy masculinity Favorite quotes: ~Boys tend to have a less expansive emotional vocabulary which makes us think they have fewer emotions. ~Somewhere around  9 to 10 boys instinctively begin  to channel all emotions fear, sadness, confusion and disappointment into one emotion and that is anger. ~Having side by side conversations rather than eye to eye. Even shame registers differently for us as males and too much eye to eye ,where  females can experience intimacy and connection, we males experience shame and  threat in that.  ~Anger is a secondary emotion; there is always something going on beneath.  ~This evidence that Jesus felt all the things we are going to feel and had an emotional  presence and strength in the midst of it. He also was a man who walked in intimate close relationships with a handful  of men. Links to great things we discussed:  "Feels Like Home" | Drew & Ellie Holcomb ... - YouTube Music Kipchoge: The Last Milestone (2021) - IMDb Everything sad is untrue- Book Vuori Clothing: Activewear & Athletic Clothing for Ultimate … David Thompson’s website- Raising Boys & Girls Mad Men (TV Series 2007–2015) - IMDb All Hail King Jesus (Lyric Video) - Bethany Wohrle - YouTube Worship for fierce faith - Playlist  Confident Motherhood Community Hope you loved this episode! Be sure to subscribe in iTunes and slap some stars on a review! :) xo, Alli

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hey, hey, this is Allie and welcome to the Allie Worthington show.

0:06.7

It's where we gather, learn, share our stories, and have a great time.

0:10.8

Every week I'll be chatting with a friend who I know, who I like and I respect,

0:15.4

and I want to learn something from.

0:17.2

And after we have that discussion, we are going to have coaching time.

0:20.2

So I'm going to be

0:20.8

answering your questions about life, about faith, and about business. Welcome to the show today.

0:27.1

I'm with the very, very wise David Thomas. We talk about a passion of mine, how to raise

0:33.0

emotionally strong boys, whether you're a mom or an aunt of boys, or you just want to understand

0:38.8

the emotional lives of men better. This is a conversation that you want to be part of.

0:44.1

Now, I have to share, side note, we have just had the best time at our house. We surprised my

0:51.2

grandfather for his 90th birthday. With all the family coming to see him, we had a

0:56.6

terrific time. He was so happy. My grandfather's amazing. He was still taking his great grandsons

1:03.4

out to the creek behind his house to catch crawdads. Okay? So that's like moving big rocks and

1:10.6

there's a whole system for it just five

1:12.8

years ago. He still wants to take the boys out to catch craw dads and we really politely go,

1:17.5

oh, not today. We didn't bring shoes for it because he would be out there on those slippery rocks and a heartbeat.

1:23.8

And all I could think was, Lord, please let me live to see my great-grandchildren one day.

1:27.9

How amazing is that?

1:29.1

What a blessing.

1:30.4

So they still have a living great-grandfather and a living great-grandmother.

1:35.4

So very, very cool.

...

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