How to Overcome Social Anxiety | Dr. Nick Epley

Huberman Lab

Scicomm Media

Science, Life Sciences, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 30.3K Ratings

🗓️ 18 May 2026

⏱️ 150 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Dr. Nick Epley, PhD, is a professor of behavioral science at the University of Chicago and a leading expert on the science of social connection. We discuss how seemingly small daily interactions with strangers (as well as with people we know) can meaningfully improve our mental and physical health. Dr. Epley also explains how to reduce social anxiety using simple and easily accessible science-supported tools. We also discuss the data on assumptions — both the ones we and others make — and why so often those are wrong when it comes to social dynamics. Read the episode show notes at hubermanlab.com. Thank you to our sponsors AG1: https://drinkag1.com/huberman Wealthfront*: https://wealthfront.com/huberman Eight Sleep: https://eightsleep.com/huberman Function: https://functionhealth.com/huberman LMNT: https://drinklmnt.com/huberman Timestamps (00:00:00) Nick Epley (00:02:29) Assumptions about Other Thoughts; Inferring Behavior (00:09:03) Eye Gaze, Social Cues (00:14:27) Sponsors: Wealthfront & Eight Sleep (00:17:18) Tone, Voice vs Writing; AI; Public Figures & Ambiguity (00:29:59) Importance of Social Connection, Communication Types (00:37:18) Social Isolation, Self-Worth (00:42:33) Sponsor: AG1 (00:44:16) Social Media, Conversation & Responsiveness (00:47:52) Social Connection & Cooperation; Adopted Children (00:57:04) Connecting with Strangers, Manners (01:02:52) Fear of Strangers, Tool: Small Moments for Connection (01:08:50) Sponsor: Function (01:10:28) Connection to Humanity, Strangers; Extroversion & Well-Being (01:22:26) Social Anxiety & Changing Beliefs; 100 Days of Rejection (01:33:52) Perceived Creepiness, Social Anxiety; Developing Social Skills (01:41:40) Sponsor: LMNT (01:43:00) Initiating Conversation, Testing Cues, Pessimistic Expectations (01:47:00) Social Gatherings; Blessings of Children with Down Syndrome (01:59:43) Parents, Shame, Children Challenges; Supporting Kids' Pursuits (02:09:17) Outdoors, Hunters, Conservation, Social Connection (02:17:39) Modeling Social Interactions for Kids, Tool: Habits Awareness (02:27:42) Zero-Cost Support, YouTube, Spotify & Apple Follow, Reviews & Feedback, Sponsors, Protocols Book, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter Disclaimer & Disclosures Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Social anxiety is something we really can help people with. Essentially, the strategy is very simple.
0:06.2	If you are afraid of talking with a stranger, having a deep conversation, the way to get over that,
0:11.6	is not to simulate it or to imagine. It's not like you get up and you give a pretend speech.
0:16.2	That's what psychologists were doing for years. It doesn't work because it's still pretending.
0:20.1	It has to be real. You send people out in the world and to do the thing for real. You're doing for years. It doesn't work because it's still pretending. It has to be real.
0:21.3	You send people out in the world and to do the thing for real. You're worried about getting rejected.
0:25.9	Go out and start asking people for help. And you'll learn that your fear is misplaced, that you get
0:30.5	accepted more often than you might guess. Exposing people to that thing that they're anxious of,
0:35.9	when the belief is misplaced and with social anxiety,
0:39.8	it is usually wildly misplaced. That's what we find over and over again is a mistaken barrier
0:44.5	to connecting with other people. That's how you ease that social anxiety and get rid of it. Not because
0:48.9	you do you dull your anxiety so much. It's because you change your beliefs about what other people are like.
0:56.8	Welcome to the Huberman Lab podcast, where we discuss science and science-based tools for everyday
1:01.7	life.
1:05.7	I'm Andrew Huberman and I'm a professor of neurobiology and ophthalmology at Stanford School
1:10.6	of Medicine.
1:11.4	My guest today is Dr. Nick Epley. Dr. Nick Epley is a behavioral scientist at the University
1:16.5	of Chicago and an expert researcher on the science of social connection. What's different about
1:21.3	today's conversation in the context of social connection is that it doesn't just center on improving
1:25.7	relationships with friends or family or
1:27.9	coworkers. We do talk about that, but we also talk about the smaller everyday conversations
1:33.0	that we have with people that we don't know so well and the positive impact that that can
	...

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