How to Make Peace With Your Demanding Child

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

JLML Press

Kids & Family, Parenting

4.7 • 3.8K Ratings

🗓️ 11 June 2024

⏱️ 33 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

A parent worries her 3-year-old needs more connection, but the attention that she and her partner give him never seems to be enough, even when they make themselves available for play. He demands they play a certain way, sometimes refuses to participate, throws his toys and has tantrums when they try to hold their ground. "The play ends up becoming him just wanting to watch us play and he stops engaging," the mom says. "Any advice you can give on how to navigate these reactions from him when we can't or won't play would be much appreciated because I find for the most part I just freeze and can't think of anything to say."

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Wundery Plus subscribers can listen to Unruffled ad free right now.
0:05.0	Join Wundery Plus in the Wundery app or on Apple Podcasts.
0:09.0	Hi, this is Janet Lansbury. Welcome to Unruffled. Today I'm going to be responding to an exchange I had with a parent whose son is very demanding and she really doesn't know how to meet his demands and
0:27.2	help him stop doing it no matter what she does it seems to continue and what her
0:32.2	note brings up are some very commonly
0:36.3	misunderstood and confusing issues that we deal with as parents. These are
0:42.4	connection. What does that really mean? What does that really look like in all kinds of situations?
0:49.0	Two, how do we help kids share their feelings?
0:54.6	And three, how do we encourage independent play?
0:58.4	Or at least encourage our child to play with us
1:02.2	in a way that isn't draining on us, where we don't have to perform.
1:07.8	We can instead enjoy more and learn through their play about them.
1:13.0	Learn about our child.
1:15.0	Okay, so first here's this parent's note.
1:19.0	Hi Janet, I'm having a hard time figuring out how to respond to my toddler three years old
1:24.9	when he becomes very demanding. It's almost always around play. He will ask me or
1:30.7	his dad to play, which if we can, we will for a little bit.
1:35.0	But the play ends up becoming him just wanting to watch us play and he stops engaging.
1:41.0	When we say, you do it, he starts to get very sad and says, no, you do it.
1:47.0	I can't do it, etc.
1:50.0	We really do hold our ground, so once we have said we're all done playing, we really mean it.
1:56.0	But he gets very upset and starts to throw his toys,
	...

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