How To Make New Year's Resolutions

Nobody Panic

Plosive, Tessa Coates and Stevie Martin

Comedy, Education, Society & Culture

4.8 • 933 Ratings

🗓️ 1 January 2019

⏱️ 42 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Are New Year's resolutions utter balls? Probably. But it's still a nice time to asses your life and make some good aims for the coming months. Stevie and Tessa figure out how to do this and also race to find a picture of David Gandy's wang online.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	It's 2019.
0:01.0	Stephen.
0:02.0	It's 2019.
0:05.0	Bum.
0:10.0	It's Stevie Martin.
0:12.0	Hello. It's me. Tessa Coates and it's nobody panic in the future land
0:18.3	I just feel like 2019 sounds like the future. I cannot believe it's 2019. What are we going to do in it's 2020? I'll be busy
0:26.3	of course in Tokyo prepping for the Olympics. Of course. So I'm on the road to
0:30.7	to Tokyo. I'm on the road to Tokyo. Yes so hashtag road to Tokyo. So 20-20 I feel completely calm and fine about.
0:37.0	Interesting. The words 2020 like that sounds fine.
0:41.0	Okay. But 2019 the ugliness of the 19 is what makes that.
0:46.2	I remember we had a similar thing. Please. With 2010. 2010. 2010. 2010. 2010 is like's because we've always had like 2001
0:55.6	2002 you know okay fine yeah 2010 just felt like we're in a new decade why are we still
1:00.7	using this old lingo yes Yes, that is very stressful.
1:04.0	I was just remembering then the time that once we were in the car,
1:06.0	I mean you won't have known I was doing this,
1:08.0	but I discovered we could scroll backwards on your iPhone calendar,
1:11.0	like loads back.
1:13.2	And then I was like, ha ha, I'm in 1923.
1:15.6	And then I kept scrolling.
1:17.8	And then I was in like the year 400.
1:18.9	And then I was like, oh my God, what happens if you hit the year zero?
	...

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