How to make (and keep) friends | from A Slight Change of Plans
How to Be a Better Human
TED
4.1 • 1.4K Ratings
🗓️ 16 February 2026
⏱️ 37 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Many of us tend to prioritize our romantic and familial relationships over friendships — and that could be harming our wellbeing and health. In this special episode from our friends at A Slight Change of Plans, cognitive behavioral scientist and bestselling author Dr. Maya Shankar looks at how friendships expand our sense of self. Maya is joined by psychologist Dr. Marisa Franco, who offers research-based strategies to make new friends and deepen our existing friendships, including helpful concepts like mutuality and the mere-exposure effect. Marisa and Maya also discuss how to stay friends through big life changes, why fighting could make your friendship stronger, and how to break up with a friend with clarity and kindness.
On A Slight Change of Plans, Maya explores how we experience change and provides strategies we can use to better navigate moments of upheaval. Find A Slight Change of Plans wherever you get podcasts.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey, everyone, Chris here. If you had to rank some of the major relationships in your life, |
| 0:04.6 | I'm talking about your partner, your family, your colleagues, where would your friendships land? |
| 0:09.5 | Chances are they're probably not at the very top of the list. They might be pretty far down. |
| 0:13.9 | And that might not be the right spot for them because not prioritizing our friendships can |
| 0:18.7 | harm our health and our well-being. So today, we are bringing |
| 0:21.5 | you an episode of another podcast that examines how friendships can expand our sense of self. |
| 0:27.0 | This episode comes from a slight change of plans, a podcast that everyone here on our show really |
| 0:31.3 | loves. It is hosted by Dr. Maya Shankar, a cognitive behavioral scientist, and she explores |
| 0:36.9 | who we become in the face of |
| 0:38.4 | change, how we can better navigate moments of upheaval, and why change might just give us an |
| 0:42.9 | opportunity to unlock great possibilities. So in this episode, Dr. Marissa Franco is going to join |
| 0:48.7 | Maya to share evidence-based strategies for making new friends, for enriching your existing friendships, |
| 0:55.1 | for keeping friendships alive through times of personal transformation, and for navigating a friendship breakup with clarity |
| 1:00.7 | and kindness. |
| 1:02.3 | Enjoy this episode. |
| 1:03.3 | And if you like what you hear, find a slight change of plans wherever you get podcasts. |
| 1:07.5 | And then go call a friend. |
| 1:09.4 | Tell them about the show. |
| 1:24.3 | Hmm. you get podcasts. And then go call a friend. Tell them about the show. You know, I looked around at my friends and I was like, well, why doesn't this love matter? |
| 1:28.9 | Why have I been told that this love doesn't count? It called into question some of the beliefs that I had about romantic versus platonic love. I thought that those messages |
| 1:34.1 | were actively harming me and that they might be harming other people too. That's Dr. Marissa |
| 1:39.4 | Franco, a psychologist and an expert on friendship. Society often teaches us that friendship is secondary |
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