How to Love Yourself After a Breakup: Repair Your Self-Esteem | E256

Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

YAP Media Network | Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Relationships, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.7 • 890 Ratings

🗓️ 5 July 2021

⏱️ 55 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Ever feel like your breakup didn’t just end a relationship — it wrecked your self-worth too? If you've been left feeling like a shell of yourself after love falls apart, this episode is for you. I’m Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby, and today on the Love, Happiness & Success podcast, I’m diving deep into one of the most painful and overlooked parts of breakup recovery: low self esteem after a breakup. I’m sharing the real-deal truth about what happens to your brain, your emotions, and your sense of identity when someone you loved — and maybe bent over backwards for — couldn't (or wouldn’t) love you back. Through stories, science, and a whole lot of heart, I’ll walk you through the five essential steps to take your power back, stop the self-betrayal spiral, and start rebuilding the self-respect you absolutely deserve. And yes, I answer a powerful listener question that might just be the one you’ve been too afraid to ask out loud. Listen and learn how to stop tying your worth to someone who walked away — and start writing a better story for yourself. Timestamps: 00:00 - The Real Reason You Feel So Broken After a Breakup 06:43 - How I became and Accidental Breakup Expert 10:20 - Why It Feels So Hard to Let Go 32:29 - 5 Steps to Rebuild Self-Esteem After a Breakup 52:10 - "I Can't Stop Checking My Ex's Instagram" 1:02:00 - The One Thing That Will Truly Heal You Struggling with self-love and low self-esteem after a breakup is incredibly painful—but it’s not the end of your story. It’s actually just one piece of a much bigger healing journey. If you’re wondering where to begin, or whether you’re truly making progress, I have a free resource that can help. 👉 Take the Breakup Quiz: How Over Your Ex Are You?This quick, insightful quiz will show you what stage of healing you’re in right now—and, more importantly, what your next step needs to be. Whether you're still caught in the swirl of emotions or starting to feel ready for what’s next, this quiz offers compassionate clarity and personalized guidance to help you move forward. No judgment. Just support. And if you’re ready to talk with someone who truly understands what you’re going through… 👉 Schedule a Free Consultation with a Growing Self Breakup Recovery Expert Our team of warm, experienced therapists and coaches specialize in helping people navigate the aftermath of heartbreak and rediscover their sense of self. In your free consultation, you can share what you’ve been going through, ask questions, and explore how we might support your healing process—whether you’re struggling with obsessive thoughts about your ex, self-doubt, guilt, or just want to stop feeling stuck. You're not alone in this, and you don’t have to figure it out all by yourself. Because healing is possible. Confidence is reclaimable. And love—real, healthy love—including love for yourself—is absolutely within reach. And you can start today. Xoxo Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com P.S. Know someone who’s struggling with low self-esteem after a breakup? Be a friend — share this episode with them. You never know how much they need to hear it.

Transcript

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0:00.0	This is Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby, and you're listening listened to this podcast before, part of what I do when I create these for you is to try to find a very special piece of music that helps
0:40.3	illustrate a point or evoke a mood. And we were just listening to the introduction of PJ Harvey's
0:49.6	to bring you my love together. And in putting together the topic for today's show and trying to think
0:56.3	about how to make it most meaningful and helpful to you, I've actually reorganized us a little bit.
1:03.7	And you and I are going to be listening to a portion of this song together so that we can really fully experience the
1:15.7	emotional tone of the very important topic that we are going to be talking about together
1:22.6	today. And that is how to repair your self-esteem after a really bad breakup.
1:31.2	I know from my experience as a counselor, as a coach, and as a accidental expert in the field of
1:39.9	breakup recovery, that one of the most difficult, most profound, most enduring injuries of going
1:51.1	through a horrible breakup or divorce is feeling like you have just been steamrolled by the
1:58.3	whole experience. And the hardest part about it for many, many people,
2:04.0	even beyond losing the relationship with their ex, is what it does to the way they feel about
2:11.2	themselves in terms of their self-esteem when you go through a terrible breakup. And there are so many hard parts of a breakup. And I
2:20.7	don't mean to suggest that this is more challenging than the other stuff you're dealing with.
2:26.1	I mean, you know, when you lose a beloved partner, you know, especially if you've been together
2:31.9	for a long time, you've lost the life that you have created together. You know, especially if you've been together for a long time. You've lost the life that you have created together.
2:37.4	You know, there can be friends and things that were familiar.
2:41.1	Even where you live, you might not be able to stay there anymore.
2:46.8	And also the loss of love and companionship, that feeling of connection.
2:53.7	And those are so terrible.
2:56.2	But I think the other things that can be hardest for people in the beginning stages are that kind of obsessive quality.
3:06.4	Like when people can't stop thinking about their ex or
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