How To Love Pursuers Well

Relationship Advice

Colter Bloxom

Relationships, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.4 • 1.7K Ratings

🗓️ 17 September 2025

⏱️ 49 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

This episode from Relationship Advice, hosts Colter, Lauren, and Cayla lean into the dynamics of pursuer-withdrawer relationships, focusing on how to understand and support pursuers effectively. As part of a broader series on relational dynamics, this episode emphasizes recognizing attachment needs, addressing raw spots, and providing proactive care to build healthier, more connected relationships. The hosts share personal anecdotes, psychological insights, and actionable strategies to help listeners navigate these dynamics. Key Discussion Points Who are the pursuers in a relationship and what drives their behavior? Pursuers are described as individuals who, during moments of disconnection or conflict, attempt to restore the relationship by seeking engagement. However, their strategies—such as high-energy behaviors, demands, or criticisms—often come across as overwhelming to their partner. Pursuers act out of fear—fear of being abandoned, ignored, or dismissed. Kayla highlights that beneath the demands and criticisms is often a deep sense of insecurity and fear of losing the relationship. Give Me Discounts! Audible - Visit audible.com/janeaustin to get listen to this incredible reading rendition of Pride & Prejudice Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar. Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, Love Tribe. Just a few quick questions before we get started today. I want to know why you are here listening to the podcast. Are you here because you want to stop bickering with your partner and you want to feel truly heard? Or are you looking for ways to reignite your sex life?
0:24.7	Or do you want to feel more emotionally connected with your partner?
0:30.9	Or do you just long for those fun, giggly moments of connection that you used to have at the beginning of your relationship?
0:32.6	Well, over the last decade of hosting this podcast, those were the main reasons people tuned into the show.
0:39.5	And we get it.
0:40.3	We've been there.
0:41.0	So we created our course, Spark My Relationship, because we wanted to put those tools to
0:47.1	unlocking a fulfilling relationship right in your hands.
0:50.5	We're offering $100 off our course, Spark My Relationship, which is a self-paced course
0:57.3	designed to help you create more passion, improve your communication, and build a stronger,
1:03.2	more intimate connection with your partner and have an amazing time doing it.
1:08.1	We've collaborated with over 15 therapists and psychologists to bring you the
1:12.9	strategies that marriage therapists teach their clients. So to unlock this special offer of our
1:18.9	course, our listeners can visit SparkMyrelationship.com slash unlock to get $100 off.
1:27.7	That's SparkMyrelationship.com forward slash unlock.
1:47.7	Let's talk about it later, she said.
1:49.2	I'm too tired to fight.
1:53.1	Later, like as in never, is that what she means?
1:57.0	I'm supposed to now try to go to sleep after this huge blowup we just had, not knowing when, how, and or if we are going to reconnect.
2:02.0	I thought about my next moves.
2:04.1	Sarcasm?
2:05.3	Turn over in a protesting silence to really let her know that I'm not okay with this decision.
	...

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