How To Let Go of ADHD Shame

How To!

Slate Magazine

Business, Education, How To, Self-improvement

4.4 • 1.9K Ratings

🗓️ 5 August 2025

⏱️ 48 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Jessi navigates life with ADHD using a complex web of coping strategies. She used to strive for absolute perfection, but feels overwhelming guilt when she forgets something or loses focus at work or at home. On this episode, How To! co-host Carvell Wallace introduces Jessi to Dr. Sarah Wheeler, an educational psychologist who specializes in ADHD. Dr. Wheeler shares her own experience with ADHD and helps Jessi chart a sustainable path forward to self-acceptance, minus the anxiety and shame. Dr. Wheeler’s Resources and Recommendations Sarah’s ADHD story Sarah’s Substack and podcast More about Sarah and her work Joan Wilder’s site Help for Women with ADHD Salif Muhamane’s Ted Talk, “ADHD Sucks, But Not Really” Kate Weber’s Women & ADHD podcast You’ve Always Been This Way: “Hello, I’m New Here,” by McSweeney’s columnist Taylor Harris Check out: How To Navigate Adult Autism and our discussion of ADHD and organizing in How To Do Housework (and Not Hate It) How can How To! help you?? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. Get more of How To! with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of How To! and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Race the rudder, raise the sails, raise the sales!
0:05.0	Captain, an unidentified ship approaching. Over.
0:07.0	Roger that. Wait, is that an enterprise sales solution?
0:13.0	Reach sales professionals, not professional sailors.
0:17.0	With LinkedIn ads, you can target the right people by industry, job title, and more.
0:21.4	To get £100 off your first campaign, go to LinkedIn.com slash lead to claim your credit.
0:26.6	That's LinkedIn.com slash lead. Terms and conditions apply.
0:30.1	It's so funny because when you look at the guys, that's never a topic of conversation.
0:34.8	Yeah.
0:35.3	What you look like? It's all. Did you watch the football last night?
0:38.9	It's never about, I'll watch your skincare routine. Whereas women walk into a room and because we've
0:43.4	been taught to be pitted against each other. Yeah. Not always, but sometimes there's, oh my God,
0:48.8	you know, I can't. It's a bit of a barrier. Yeah, yeah. And it shouldn't be there. We should be
0:52.9	trying to change that stereotype,
0:55.1	believing that there is space for everybody. I recently heard Amy Poehler say that either you're
1:01.7	annoying or boring. You have to pick one. And I fully think I fall into the annoying camp rather than
1:08.8	the boring.
1:15.9	Welcome to how to where we welcome you no matter which camp you fall into.
1:20.5	You know, each week on the show, we talk with the listener about something they're struggling to navigate,
1:24.5	and we bring in an expert with personal experience to give them guidance.
1:25.8	I'm Carveau Wallace.
1:29.6	And Amy Poehler aside, if we were to turn back the clock to a young Jesse 30 years ago, I don't think we'd find a kid who was annoying, excited,
	...

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