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Hey everyone. Welcome back to Jillian on Love. Today, I'm going to talk about something that might be very provocative, a little triggering for some of you, but I'm going there. It's this idea of forgiveness. And there's so much talk out there about how you have to forgive someone in order to move on.

Or you forgive, not for them, you forgive for yourself.

And it's very much also rooted in religion and spirituality, this idea of forgiveness that like somehow, if we forgive

someone, then we've reached sort of the highest level of consciousness.

And I don't necessarily believe that forgiveness is necessary.

Now, I know that there are some of you who might be listening to this who went through

something horrific and very, very traumatic.

And that is more complicated. So I'm going to be talking today about betrayals. I'm not going to be talking about big T trauma and how to sort of process that.

But I am going to be talking about forgiving parents, forgiving your ex. And I just want to say that you don't actually have to forgive your

ex. You don't have to forgive the person who hurt you. You don't have to forgive your parent who

wasn't a good parent. The point is not forgiveness. I used to say that the point is acceptance, but what does acceptance actually mean?

In my view, it means that we get to a point where we have processed and have an understanding of what happened and what and of the other person and of ourselves

that we don't even feel the need or have to forgive in other words we are so emancipated from the story that we have around it.

It no longer has a hold on us.

And so we don't really, it's not that we withhold forgiveness.

We don't even see it as a situation where we have to forgive. And this is a pretty,

you know, complicated thing to talk about because, like I said, so much of the zeitgeist for

...