How To Let Go, Move On And Leave Your Past In Your Past with Julia Samuel (re-release) #539

Feel Better, Live More with Dr Rangan Chatterjee

Dr Rangan Chatterjee

Health & Fitness, Medicine, Alternative Health, Mental Health

4.8 • 10.9K Ratings

🗓️ 23 March 2025

⏱️ 97 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Why does family matter so much to us? As today’s guest, renowned psychotherapist Julia Samuel explains, every client she’s seen in 30 years of practice, mentions their family members. Like it or not, we all carry our upbringing into our adult lives. Our family is wired in us genetically and it shows in our responses to life, our beliefs, and the ‘fault lines’ that trigger us in daily life. Could finding out more about our families be the key to knowing more about ourselves? Julia’s new book, Every Family Has A Story: How We Inherit Love and Loss is a powerful exploration of what we inherit, what we can change, and how inter-family relationships inform all aspects of our lives. Often unknowingly, we are a product of how our older relatives have coped with their experiences. It even shows up in our genes! Julia and I explore this subject of trans-generational trauma – or how our present-day struggles probably didn’t start with us (but learning and forgiveness can). In order to protect our children and grandchildren, Julia says, we need to process our feelings so we don’t pass them on. This might mean uncovering the secrets and untold stories from generations above you. And if that sounds daunting to put into practice, she has some wonderful advice for facilitating difficult conversations. We also discuss generational conflicts over parenting techniques, setting boundaries, and how to be compassionate and respectful with family members while also recognising and protecting your own needs. Whatever your family situation – whether you’re close, estranged or somewhere in between – there’s something we can all take from Julia’s powerful, original approach. Caution: contains mild swearing. Support the podcast and enjoy Ad-Free episodes. Try FREE for 7 days on Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/feelbetterlivemore. For other podcast platforms go to https://fblm.supercast.com. Thanks to our sponsor: https://drinkag1.com/livemore Show notes https://drchatterjee.com/539 DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Transcript

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0:00.0	You need to know your family if you're really going to know yourself.
0:06.0	Unprocessed trauma from one generation, it goes down each generation until someone is prepared to feel the pain.
0:15.0	If you want to protect your children from the trauma that has been passed down to you, you have to feel the
0:22.7	pain. There's no way around it. Hey guys, how you doing? I hope you having a good week so far. My name is
0:29.5	Dr. Ronan Chatterjee, and this is my podcast, Feel Better, Live More. So today's conversation is all about families, and I want to start off by asking you a question.
0:43.2	What does the word family mean to you?
0:47.5	Why does family matter so much to so many of us?
0:51.5	Well, as today's guest, the renowned psychotherapist Julia Samuel explains,
0:57.3	every single client that she's seen over her 30 years of practice has spoken to some degree
1:03.7	about the influence of other family members. Like it or not, we all carry our upbringing
1:09.3	into our adult lives, our family is wide in us genetically,
1:14.3	and it shows in our responses to life, our beliefs, as well as our triggers.
1:19.4	So could finding out more about our families be the key to knowing more about ourselves?
1:25.7	Well, I think after hearing today's conversation, you will certainly be
1:28.8	very aware of just how influential your family has been in shaping who you currently are today.
1:37.1	Now, I'll last welcome, Julia, onto the podcast back in September 2020, when she joined me to talk
1:42.0	about grief, living losses, and the power of pain.
1:45.5	It was such an enlightening conversation that resonated with so many or few.
1:49.5	And one underlying theme in that conversation was this idea that it's through adversity in life
1:55.5	that we truly transform ourselves.
1:58.2	Now, the occasion for Julie's return onto the podcast today is to celebrate
2:02.1	a quite brilliant new book. Every family has a story, how we inherit love and loss, which is a
	...

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