How to Know When Someone Is Actually Available

Sex With Emily

Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.2 • 6.7K Ratings

🗓️ 6 January 2026

⏱️ 54 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

EPISODE SUMMARY Dr. Emily sits down with relationship expert Matthew Hussey to decode modern dating, from confusing chemistry with compatibility to knowing when someone's actually emotionally available. Matthew breaks down why we keep choosing the wrong people, how to set boundaries without sabotaging connection, and the texting behaviors that reveal true interest levels. In this episode, you'll learn: • The difference between chemistry and compatibility—and why excitement often masks anxiety • How to identify emotional availability in the first few dates • Why having standards matters more than having a "type" • The art of expressing needs without coming across as needy • Red flags in texting culture and what silence really means • How to break patterns of settling and choose better partners • Why vulnerability creates attraction (and how to practice it) • When to walk away from situationships that aren't serving you • How self-worth directly impacts who you attract and keep • Strategies for building sexual tension while deepening emotional intimacy More Dr. Emily: • Shop With Emily! Explore Emily’s favorite toys, pleasure accessories, bedroom essentials, and more — designed to support your pleasure and confidence. Free shipping on orders $99+ (some exclusions apply). • Join the SmartSX Membership: Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. • Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. • The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure • Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website • Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok | Threads | YouTube • Let’s text: Sign up here • Want me to slide into your email inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular. This episode is sponsored by… Bellesa "EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE toy or gift card! https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/emilymorse-podcast" Qualia Magnesium, multiplied. 10 forms for total support. Go to https://qualialife.com/SEXWITHEMILY to get 50% off and save an extra 15% with the code SEXWITHEMILY. Timestamps: 0:00 - Intro: The Dolphin Metaphor - Understanding Our Conditioning 1:36 - Meet Matthew Hussey: Dating Expert & Confidence Coach 6:48 - Matthew's Journey with Chronic Pain & The Concept of "Happy Enough" 13:18 - Matthew's Evolution & The Pain of Helping Others 18:26 - Lighting the Fuse: Detonating Your Own Life Before It Implodes 25:17 - Anxiety in Relationships & The Wall We Keep Crashing Into 32:45 - The Dolphin Tank: How Our Past Shapes Our Reality 37:41 - Core Confidence: You Don't Need to Be Special to Love Yourself 42:15 - Giving Yourself Closure & Modeling Healthy Standards 48:26 - Five Quickie Questions & Outro

Transcript

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0:00.0	When a dolphin grows up in captivity and learns to do backflips for food and jump through hoops and a human gives it a fish,
0:12.0	if that dolphin was released into the wild tomorrow and it started doing backflips in the ocean for food or swimming up to boats thinking that those humans were going to give them food. We wouldn't say the dolphin had a self-worth problem. We wouldn't say the dolphin was broken. We'd say, no, no, no, this is the behavior the dolphin learned in the tank. And when the dolphin was in the tank, it didn't know it was a tank. It thought it was the world. You're listening to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily, and I'm here to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate the conversation
0:42.0	around sex.
0:43.3	Today's episode is really special as I get to talk to my friend Matthew Hussey.
0:47.4	He's a return guest on the show and leading dating expert and confidence coach, who
0:51.6	quite frankly is loved by everyone because honestly, he is the real
0:55.5	deal. We discuss his latest book, Love Life, How to Raise Your Standards, Find Your Person, and
1:00.5	live happily no matter what. We talk about what we have in common with dolphins, how this one
1:05.7	text message changes life, why we need to learn the difference between our intuition versus our instincts,
1:11.7	and how our own beliefs and stories get in the way of finding love. Please rate and review
1:17.5	sex with Emily wherever you listen to the show. It really helps get the word out to help more
1:22.4	people. All right, everyone, enjoy this episode.
1:35.1	I'm so turned on because women are finally making science work for our pleasure.
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1:52.0	like, absolutely not. So they spent eight years researching what almost every brand ignores,
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2:04.5	balance hydration and a healthy environment in your pants, in your vulva and your vagina. This is
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