Welcome to the Awesome Marriage Podcast, a place for honest conversations about marriage

and how to have the relationship that God has designed for you.

I am your co-host, Christina Dodson.

On the show will be our host, Dr. Kim Kim Kimberling and Nill Smith.

To engage with the Awesome Marriage podcast, use the hashtag Awesome Marriage.

This month at Awesome Marriage, we're talking about distractions in marriage. Each week on the

podcast, we've been sharing one common distraction in marriage and how to keep that distraction

from messing up your marriage. Today's distraction is selfishness. Dr. Kim, how is selfishness

a distraction when it comes to our marriages?

I think right off it just puts me when I'm selfish in the wrong position.

People have heard us talk forever about God first, spouse, second. Well, when I'm selfish,

I put myself about both of those. And so I'm just from a not a good standpoint from the beginning when I get selfish in my

marriage. It's just I'm thinking of myself first. I'm not caring what Nancy thinks, really,

because I mean, maybe a little bit, but not as much as what I think. And so it just puts things

out of balance. And I think it puts our spouse in a real difficult position

because depending on the temperament of your spouse they're either going to get upset at you or angry

or withdraw or resent and so it's just a big thing but it's something we'll have to deal with

because we're all selfish yeah I agree and I think when you know when you're being selfish

you're thinking about yourself and when you're thinking about yourself you know, when you're being selfish, you're thinking about

yourself. And when you're thinking about yourself, you can't be thinking about your marriage because

your marriage is about you, right? It's about us and it's about unity. And really, I think that

this is possibly the most dangerous threat to oneness and marriage, selfishness, because you can't be

...