Hi there, this is Janet Landsbury, welcome to Unruffled.

Today I am doing a mini consultation with a parent who is concerned because her son seems

to be misfiring in social situations, not engaging appropriately and therefore being rejected

and disappointed and I try to offer her some advice as to how to help him on his social

learning journey, which is a complicated journey for all of us.

Okay, here's the note that I received from this parent.

I'm having a very challenging time watching my son repeatedly and in different situations

have the same challenges with his peers, whether it pre-school, a play date, one on one or

with small groups of friends, he is wanting play with the other kids but seems to engage

in an unwelcomed way.

Then the others don't include him and he gets sad and frustrated.

For example, he was with three close girlfriends.

They had a great play date, then as they were all coloring on their own separate papers,

he was putting his paper on top of theirs or coloring on theirs.

I let him know he needed to keep his own paper because his friends had asked to keep off

their paper but he repeated it.

When the behavior stopped, he was sour and the girls just simply didn't want to include

him.

He got sad and frustrated, saying the house was bad, etc.

This sort of thing plays out in different ways.

On a walk with a friend, with her mother and myself present, he was climbing on rocks and

having a great time leading his friend into nature.

...