Hi, welcome to Radio Headspace and to Friday. It's Sam here.

There's a Swedish saying I like that goes, a loved child has many names.

Think about how naturally nicknames develop. They can be silly and playful and they often

let us know that we're loved. There's so much warmth and love that's behind the nicknames

that we call our pets, our children, and our loved ones.

But what about the way we talk to ourselves? We don't typically give ourselves nicknames,

but do we speak to ourselves with the same kindness and compassion that we give to others?

For many of us, our inner voice can be quite critical. And the way we respond with self-compassion

develops over time. When we begin to talk to ourselves in a more loving way, we may feel

like we're just trying out phrases even though we don't feel the words authentically.

We may also realize that we can know ourselves more intimately than anyone else can and be

able to provide ourselves with the soothing presence that we know we need.

When a difficult emotion arises for me, I imagine that the emotion is sending me an

SOS signal. It's asking me for acknowledgement. And I respond by putting a hand on my heart

and saying to myself, I see you and I'm here. I see how difficult this is for you right

now and I can stay present and check in with you for as long as you need me to.

Talking to myself in this way reflects the reassurance that I need. It helps me know

that I don't have to rush to feel better and it helps me to accept my emotions just

as they are. This reminds me of a helpful practice that I learned from a book called The

Journey from Abandonment to Healing by Susan Anderson. There was an exercise where you

write a dialogue between your big self and your little self. And big self encompasses

your wisdom, your love, and your patience, all of these helpful qualities that you developed

...