Hi, my name is John Kim and I'm a therapist who went through his own

rebirth. I share my feelings and revelations. I believe in casual or

clinical and with you instead of at you. I come unrehearsed on

purpose because self-help doesn't have to be so complicated. I'm super glad you're

here. This is an important episode and I feel strongly about this

message and so please don't leave listen to this episode it's about arguing and the reason why I'm so passionate about this is because over the years the last 10 years helping a lot of couples with relationships.

Most of them don't know how to argue and in a healthy way.

And I used the word arguing because you know that's the biggest net I can throw

and people understand but it's actually not arguing so it you know the idea is is to to fight without fighting.

It's really not about how many times we fight.

We can fight every day.

It's about, well, that would be pretty exhausting.

It's about how we fight, right? Fighting can actually, you know, conflict,

contrast, arguments, fighting, quote unquote, fighting, all of that can actually produce glue.

All of that can actually bring people closer together if you're doing it in a healthy way,

where at the end of it, there's more understanding and closeness instead of people being pulled apart.

And so most people, because they're not doing in a healthy way, there's just constant bickering,

arguing, you know other did they take a crowbar to their

relationship every time they want to resolve something and here's the thing when that happens people start

getting scared you know and then then you don't want to talk about what you need

or what you disagree with or you know and if you don't do that then the communication dries up and then

now there's anger resentment and over time it's gonna take down the entire house

...