How to Have a "Debrief" Conversation When Triggered, Instead of Spiraling: Episode 378
EmPowered Couples with The Freemans
Aaron & Jocelyn Freeman
5.0 • 589 Ratings
🗓️ 21 January 2025
⏱️ 26 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
When you have a marriage conflict there are a few options you have as a partner. You can react or you can suppress it. Neither of these are good options. Your two good options are to repair or have a more simple debrief conversation.
In this episode you will hear the simple steps to take to have a debrief conversation. You will hear the difference between when a repair conversation is needed and when you just need this type of debrief conversation. By implementing these steps you can avoid lengthy conversations and get back on the same page faster with the productive steps to be on the same team to move forward.
Relationship Resources From Epsiode:
DE-ESCALATE CONFLICTS GUIDE: A realistic guide to managing your emotions and keeping simple conversations from escalating into overblown fights. It's the De-escalating Conflicts & Regulating Emotions Guide and it's only $19.
REPAIR CONFLICTS GUIDE: A step-by-step guide to repairing after an argument; to ensure it's resolved for good and get back to being truly connected as a couple. It's the Making Up & Moving Forward Guide and it's only $19.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hello and welcome to the Empowered Couples podcast. We're here you get modern, non-boring |
| 0:05.1 | relationship advice for you and your partner to communicate like pros, fight smarter, and stay on the same |
| 0:10.2 | team no matter the challenge that you face. I am one of your host, Erin Freeman. And I'm Jocelyn Freeman, |
| 0:14.6 | but you all just know it says the Freeman's. And this episode is about how to have a debrief |
| 0:19.7 | conversation when you're triggered instead of |
| 0:22.7 | spiraling. So we just got off a few coaching sessions with couples and we had to hit record because |
| 0:29.6 | this was the theme that kept showing up in sessions. And at the end, couples were like, this was |
| 0:35.7 | exactly what we needed to hear. Thank you for making |
| 0:38.2 | it so clear. This is one of the big places we get tripped up as a couple. And we wanted to be able |
| 0:43.6 | to provide this insight for all of you because I'm guessing you have experienced this, if not |
| 0:49.6 | recently, definitely in your past and you want to be able to interrupt this cycle. In the title, |
| 0:57.2 | you see the word spiraling. And isn't that what happens? Is something so small or so subtle or |
| 1:04.6 | something even unexpected? You were making dinner. You were having a good time with the kids. |
| 1:09.9 | You were at the park. You're on a walk. |
| 1:12.2 | You're on a vacation. And what went from being this great moment or peaceful moment, you're now |
| 1:19.4 | spiraling. You feel blindsided. It's out of nowhere. And it can get out of control. |
| 1:24.6 | It can not only derail how you're feeling as an individual, and so you're feeling |
| 1:29.4 | all the things that come with being triggered, which we're going to talk about, but then it can |
| 1:33.9 | turn into this heated conflict that feels so discouraging. It feels draining. And you're like, |
| 1:40.4 | how did we get here? Don't we love each other? How did it turn into this? |
| 1:44.8 | And I want to add clarity to being triggered. If you've been listening to us, I think you |
| 1:51.2 | understand that there's for us three parts. I don't want this to get confused with a lot of content |
... |
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