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Nobody Panic

How to Go to University

Nobody Panic

Plosive, Tessa Coates and Stevie Martin

Education, Comedy, Society & Culture

4.8933 Ratings

🗓️ 30 August 2022

⏱️ 36 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Going to uni and no idea what to expect? Stevie lost her mind during second year so had to defer and Tessa turned up on the first day alone because her parents were on holiday – here’s what they learned. NB while the practicalities differ from uni to uni, the emotional business remains the same, which is what this ep is alllll about.


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Recorded by Ben Williams and edited by Clarissa Maycock for Plosive.

Photos by Marco Vittur, jingle by David Dobson.

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hello. Hello, this is a special one. It's dedicated to two lovely girls who came to the Salisbury International Arts

0:25.2

Festival instead of revising. They were both called Natalie. Hello Natalie

0:30.4

squared. They came up, said they've bought our book,

0:35.0

but they hadn't brought it with them.

0:37.0

Instead, they'd brought their English textbook

0:40.0

for their A-Level exam,

0:41.0

which I think was the next day,

0:43.0

and said, could you sign this instead?

0:44.8

The textbook, which the exam was on, was untouched.

0:48.4

It was.

0:50.0

The spine was not broken.

0:51.3

The spine was unbroken. That thing was the cleanest thing I'd ever seen.

0:55.2

They were supposed to have been studying that for the last year.

0:57.3

Fantastic.

0:58.3

Good luck to them, I say.

0:59.8

And they said, please would you do how to go to university we are in our final year and

1:05.4

we're going to university in the autumn and here we are because we've both

1:10.3

been we've both been so we've got a bunch of you are going. It's now September which means it's

1:15.8

a coming. It's uni time unless you go into what are the Oxford ones I think that

1:20.1

starts in like October or something doesn't it later it's boring

1:23.7

boring and no but of course it they start in the autumn all roundabout now yes

1:28.0

they've been obviously very long incredibly long time

...

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