This is NPR's Life Kit.

I'm Andrew Limbong.

When Amy Chan was in her late 20s, things were looking pretty solid.

She had a partner and was on her way to finishing the relationship rat raise, you know, marriage,

house kids, all that white picket fence stuff.

And one day that fairy tale of mine completely fell apart due to infidelity.

Her response was instantaneous.

I remember so clearly the moment I found out and just physically falling to the floor

and not being able to get myself up.

Cheating was a hard line for her, so she split up with her partner.

When the breakup happened, I completely broke to pieces.

And a large part of that was because I put so much of my identity in him and us

and our future plans that without that, I didn't know who I was.

It got bad for her.

Depression, panic attacks.

I stopped eating and I would have friends that would come on shift to actually physically

witness me eat.

It was really bad.

It's obvious but worth stating.

Heartbreak hurts.

As my close personal friend, Chris Martin likes to say, when you love someone, but it

goes to waste, could it be worse?

...