How To Fix An Anxious-Avoidant Relationship - A Man's Guide

ManTalks Podcast

Connor Beaton

Society & Culture, Education, Health & Fitness, Relationships, Mental Health, Self-improvement

4.8 • 591 Ratings

🗓️ 18 April 2024

⏱️ 42 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Talking points: attachment, relationships Got a LOT of requests for this one! Relationships between anxious attachment and avoidant attachment folks are actually quite common. They can also be extremely tough. Listen in for what they're like, why the patterns are hard to break, and how to move towards a secure, grounded partnership. (00:00:00) - Intro, what characterizes the anxious-avoidant dance, and why there’s no “villain” (00:04:08) - Why that dance is so strong (00:08:28) - Examples of the anxious-avoidant dynamic (00:12:58) - Can anxious-avoidant relationships actually work, how to know if it won’t, and how to END the dance (00:16:56) - The “protest and punishment” behaviors, and how to self-identify if you’re the anxious partner (00:21:23) - How to self-identify if you’re the avoidant one (00:27:05) - So what do you to? Tips for the anxious (00:33:05) - Tips for the avoidant (00:38:19) - What to do together *** Build brotherhood in person. Join a Men's Weekend Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/ Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance. Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	All right team, welcome back to the band talk show.
0:08.4	Connor Beaton here.
0:09.4	And today, we're going to be diving into how do you fix?
0:13.2	How do you end the anxious avoidant dynamic, right?
0:17.6	So maybe you're an anxious person or you're an avoiding person and you found
0:21.1	yourself in a relationship with the opposing attachment style, which is probably what has brought
0:25.1	you here. And I hope that you've enjoyed the series that I've been doing because I've been doing
0:29.4	this, a man's guide too, where I've dove into or dug into how to end codependency, how to
0:36.5	resolve your avoidant attachment style or your anxious attachment
0:40.5	style or your fearful avoidant attachment style. So if you're watching this and you haven't watched
0:44.2	those, those are going to be incredibly helpful to doing a deep dive into how you as an individual
0:50.3	can move closer towards secure attachment. So this video is going to talk specifically about the
0:56.6	relationship, how it happens, why it happens, and how do you resolve it? And I'm going to give you
1:02.9	some very specific things that you as an individual can do and then some specific things that you
1:08.5	as a couple can tackle. So let's dive in and talk a little bit
1:14.0	first about what characterizes the anxious avoidant dance. The first thing is this push-pull
1:22.0	dynamic where one person seems to be pulling away and the other one seems to be a stage five clearer.
1:30.0	No.
1:31.1	Just kidding.
1:32.0	Just kidding.
1:33.2	But you can tell which one I was in the relationship.
1:35.7	I was clearly an avoidant person with that joke, right?
	...

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