Time for some podcast reviews. K-Lile 91. Seriously, there are so many helpful topics covered. My go-to podcast on all things self-help. Hell yeah girl! Alright guys, this is truth telling time. I'm going to admit that I was one of those girls that would go to the gym and wear my underwear and really, really tight pants and not even realize that my underwear line was showing until my husband very kindly and sweetly pointed out to me one day. I didn't realize, sadly, what a big no-no that was until I got a slightly older and realized people were just snickering behind my back, but I love that I now know it and I look for things that are seamless so that my underwear doesn't show anymore, which is why I'm actually really freaking excited to join up with Ebi. Now, Ebi is a seamless underwear membership company co-founded by the all-time badass actress and entrepreneur Sophia Vergara. Let's face it, that woman is badass. She knows what she's talking about and let's face it also. She has an amazing booty, so if that woman is wearing seamless underwear, I am in. So, let me tell you a bit more about Abby and their membership. Not only does their membership keep your underwear drawer fresh, but also what I freaking love about this company is what they believe and stand for. So 10% of every ebby purchase funds business loans for women around the freaking world. Like that's so freaking mind blowing because empowering women guys to me is absolutely freaking essential just like underwear. So guys if you were interested in seamless effortless and smooth underwear check how Ebys membership. Now, Ebbys membership gives you access to exclusive members only offers free shipping, limited this from prints and weekly power tips on confidence, getting shit done and living the life of your dreams. So talk about utter alignment with another company, I freaking love what they believe in and what they stand for. They are fiercely committed to creating a positive impact. So guys, get your butt over, and join every membership or shop seamless, ebby panties. So guys, get 20% off your very first order by clicking the link in our episode show notes and using the discount code impact 20. Once again, to get 20% off your very first order, click the link in our episode show notes and use discount code impact 20. So learn more about ebby at joinebi.com. And until next time, put on your seamless underwear and be the hero of your own life. Peace out! Don't make me extraordinary to let yourself off the hook. Let me repeat that guys. Don't make me extraordinary to let yourself off the hook. These words from today's Women of Impact, Lisa Nichols, changed my life when I first heard them a few years ago now. It was like her words vibrated, shifted the earth, and finally shook me awake. Think about it. All this time I had looked at the serena Williams, the Lady Gargars and the Opus of the World, and dismissed them as being talented or extraordinary in order to let myself off the hook for not putting in the hard work, time and sacrifice it would take to get to their level. I mean I'm literally giving myself chills. But realizing it guys is the easy part. Facing your insecurities, weaknesses and ego in order to get better is the difficult part. How do we get back up when we fall time and time again? How do we keep showing up when all we want to do is freaking hide? How do we walk into rooms when doors keep closing? Well, today's guest has the answers. Her courage to termination and no excuse mindset took her from not getting above a sea in school due to this lexia to write in six best-selling books. From being a single mother impacted her one son to one of the most requested motivational speakers impacted over 80 million people worldwide. From being on government aid to starting her own non-profit helping hundreds of thousands of teens. And from unable to afford diapers with just 12 bucks in her bank account, to leading a multi-million dollar enterprise. So get ready to be inspired, lead and transform with the effervescent legend herself, Lisa Nichols. Wow, wow, wow, wow. Thank you. That feels good. Thank you so much for the time and effort and the acknowledgement of my body of work and my intention. Oh, good. Girls, seriously, when I had come in contact with you, I'd met you a few years ago, made in L4 or five years ago. You shook my world. And so where I want to start was thank you

for coming on the show, especially at a time like this with the way the world is turning,

with COVID and with Black Lives Matter. There's a lot of just unknown and unexpected occurrences.

And so I've heard you talk about the unwelcome interruptions. And so a lot of us have all these plans of what we're about to do and our goals and our dreams and we're on the path and then the unexpected happens. And a lot of people I am finding are going into a space which I would call complacency, but I've heard you beautifully speak about the confusion between self-love and complacency and where people are calling something self-love, but actually it's them being complacent and not then taken action. Because I see you as the queen of action. Help us all Lisa. Help us all. Yes. Well, you know, I, first of all, thank you for having me. Thank you for creating the space, for the conversation, the awareness, the disruption, the call to action, and the challenge. Because that's what you experienced several years ago when you saw me with your wonderful husband is that I was, I'm willing to inspire, but I want to inspire to a place of disrupting. I want to disrupt any form of mediocrity in your cells, right? I want, I want mediocrity to be uncomfortable in the space that you're in. So coming to you talking about complacency, we have a tendency to analyze where we think we should be and never move forward of where we could be because we're busy analyzing. Benjamin Franklin says, comparison isn't always be the thief of all your joy. We not only analyze where we are, Lisa, but we analyze where the person next to us and the other person next to us. We analyze where such a comparison community, you talked about looking at Oprah, looking at Lady Gaga, and looking at all these heroes. And while we need them as a marker of possibility, and that's all we are, we're each a marker of possibility for one another, right? And it gives us the ability to go what part in my soul, what part in my mindset, what part in my daily behavior, do I have an opportunity to up level so I can touch a glimpse of my own greatness that I witnessed in her possibility. Looking at it that way, everyone becomes fuel to your journey. In this season, we have to watch out because society in the conversation is saying, hold off, wait, let's make sure everything's safe for you to live. Well, I think the counter should be no, I'm going to live. I'm going to live safely. I'm going to live responsibly. I'm just going to pivot the way I live right now for this climate. I'm not going to go into hibernation and wait. I'm not going to, and I'm not saying to disrupt the safety protocols.

I'm not saying that. My business has grown about 15% over the last five months, which is insane. It's just, it's insane. I got to look at it and go, what the heck happened? Well, what happened is I'm always looking for what, where do I need to pivot? I'm not waiting for what the world is gonna tell me

that I'm going, okay, wait, what do people need right now?

Always. I'm always looking for what where do I need to pivot I'm not waiting for what the world is going to tell me Do I'm going okay? Wait what do people need right now always operate from a place of service? That's number one So it wasn't what business opportunity can I have right now? It wasn't how can my business grow right now my question When everything hit was how can I serve? people where they are right now so I did 30 days of a diet of Possibility to counter all of the other things that you're ingesting on the news let me give you 30 days of a diet of Possibility and every day for 30 days I went on and I just did 15 minutes of. Possibility and so I want to invite people to go hold on. If I called myself to touch the best version of myself, even during COVID, during Black Lives Matter, if I say I'm protecting my memories of myself, that my memories of myself 20 years from, will be based on the action that I'm in today. I want you to get that. That's kind of like some crazy, deep sidewinder. Like, I love that so much though, because I'm such a fan of everyone has a story to tell, right? And we look back at the story we had, but we don't focus as much on the story we're currently writing. Yes. Yes, my grandmother says she's 91 years old. And my grandmother says, sweetheart, you're supposed to sit in your favorite chair and tell the story of your life. But right now, you and I, everyone that can hear my voice, you're supposed to do one thing. You're supposed to make sure that the story is going to be good to tell. Now, I add to that, you are not writing your life story, you're writing your legacy story. When you look at the people who made it possible for a young girl like you and a young girl like me to come together, look at us. We're crossing cultural lines. We're crossing geographical lines. We may be crossing religious and spiritual lines, social economic lines. We're crossing every line that our great, great, grandmother's could not cross. And we're crossing those lines right now, at least because someone had to purge the audacity. They had to shego the ego, the humility and the calling to write their legacy, not just their life story. That's even bigger. Your life story lives while you live, and it's your life story, you read it at the end, it's your eulogy. Your, feed young girls, young boys, black, white, Asian, Latino, gay, and straight, who are not even born yet. That's big living. And I don't know if I'll do it. I'm not sure if my life is gonna have a legacy that impacts generations after I'm gone, but I'm gonna spend this lifetime shooting for it. I love that. And talk to me actually then about not knowing because I think a lot of people would be like, I need to cross that finish line to kind of give myself that, you know, congratulations. But I love the notion of you're never going to be done. If you're really in it for, you know, if you have purpose, right, result, you're never done. That right there.. Now, I'm going to say something that might disrupt people, but that's who I am. Your ego wants to know about the finish line first. That's ego. That's, and it actually is more selfish than service. So it's saying, if I know where I'm going and if I know that it's going to work and if I like how it gonna end up then I'll play full out. What? Do you think Martin Luther King played like that? Do you think Harriet Tubman rolls the parks? Do you think Oprah played like that? Like these individuals said I'm gonna play full out and so when you say I'm going to do it I'm willing to live in the unknown.. I'm willing to confront the, by the way, the unknown is uncomfortable for all of us. So don't think that I'm back stroking in the unknown and I love it. But you have to be more obedient. You have to be more living in your conviction to be a disruption to the way life is today. And here's what I realize. People wanna get clear before they fully get an action. And that's what you're seeing right now. People wanna get clear before they fully get an action. Well guess what? Clarity follows action. So when you get an action, clarity is revealed. So people are waiting, I'm gonna wait. I'm just, I'm gonna wait. I'm gonna wait until I get clear to play full out. I'm a way to get clear. And then clarity is revealed. So people are waiting. I'm going to wait. I'm just I'm going to wait. I'm a wait. I get clear to full to play full out. I'm a wait. I get clear. And then clarity is going, I'll just go wait till you get an action to reveal some more clarity to you because clarity isn't revealed from a dump truck. Clarity is revealed in a spoonful. But you have to be an action with the previous spoonful that you received in order to get the next fool for. So you're trying to see 2,000 miles down the road and 2,000 miles of waiting for you to take 200 steps. So with you, there's a phrase that I always say that is, I speak so I can understand, not so I can be understood. And so it's me in real time when I talk. It's so that I can start to understand myself. And a lot of people won't speak until like what you said, they think to themselves, I've got it. I know it. And now I'm going to speak out. And especially right now with the way the world is so much uncertainty that I think it actually serves us to speak up and talk about things that as time goes on, I can understand myself more. Yeah. Yeah. And if you understand right now, the soil has been tealed. So we were all in our old thinking and our old thinking, thinking, shrinking thinking and our old limited thinking and all of our little nuances of the world. Our dirt was hard, meaning our mindset. Just this is how I think, this is how life is. Life is just this way. Black people having that mindset, white people having that mindset, women, men, people of color, brown, everyone just come, this is the way it is. And then you have a massive, massive disruption, life this, required because now all of the hard dirt hard mind set thoughts belief systems way of living now It's all teal and it's all turned upside down. Well, what happens before you can plant new seeds You have to till the dirt you have to disrupt the hard dirt not comfortable hard to experience to experience, hard to do, difficult to live through.

You till all this dirt. And before you plan to new seat, it looks like an explosion has occurred around us.

Which is what it looks like right now. Social explosion, mindset explosion, racial explosion,

blame game explosion, political explosion, health explosion, everything is disrupted.

That's the soil that's been till till and everything is on earth. And then in the months and years to come, if we do our part, we will plant new seeds. And for the first time in many, many years, 50, 60, 70, 80, 100 years, that the soil is tilled enough. Hashtag disrupted enough where the seed can actually get in. It can actually take root. And then we water it. We water it with consciousness. We water it with confrontational conversations, carefrontational conversations. We water it with courageous cultural conversations. We water it with awareness, cultural intimate proximity conversations and experience. We water it with with with just education. We water it with action. And then maybe not in your or my lifetime, maybe so.

But we gotta be willing, even if it's not in our lifetime

to sprout.

A new tree of possibility, a new tree of connection,

a new tree of awareness, a new tree of cultural sensitivity,

a new tree of equality, a new tree of health and wellness.

So we are at the very beginning of farming, a new way of being, a new way of living. Is it possible? Yes. Is it hard work? Yes. Is it disruptive? Yes. Is it taking too much time? Yeah. Are we impatient? Yeah. And we would not be here. If someone didn't plant a seed 60 years ago, we, you and I, would not be here. Well, that's so powerful. And I want to take it further because you are the perfect example of speaking truth and living truth. So in saying all of that, people that are listening, right, I'm sure they want to just like me want to jump up and scream, oh yeah, Lisa. And then I switch off the video. I stop listening to motivation things and I'm by myself. And all I have is that internal voice that is very much much fearful of the struggle ahead. That wants to soothe me in every way, which means hide, don't confront, don't address the truth, don't try anything because, hey, if you fail, you are a failure. All these words and feelings start to bubble up. So Lisa, when you were in those situations, when you were, you know, a single mother, no one knew who you were and your, your office was your tiny, tiny closet that could just about fit a table. How do you self-seed like, what is that? What does it actually look like to do it? Because I agree if we can all do it, the outcome will be beautiful. But we will get in our own way. Yeah, absolutely. So, the we are a calamity of dysfunctional experiences. There's not one person breathing. I don't care. I don't care what television they're on, how many followers they have. There's not one person breathing who isn't managing their own dysfunction. I don't care what they tell you. If they tell you they'll have it, they are lying. Right. Now, what our job is is to not try to deny the dysfunction, is to learn how to be with the dysfunction and still be a major service to our families and to society with the dysfunction. I know that sounds uncomfortable to hear, but we are all managing our feeling of insecurity or we're managing our active comparison, we're managing our chatter. Am I good enough? Am I smart enough? Am I pretty enough? Am I young enough? So many times people would tell me how great I was and I go, God, they have no idea about my past and how much I struggled. And I thought that if they knew that, that would discount who I was. I was so afraid to go on Oprah. I remember the night before going on Oprah. I'm like, they're going to find out that I have issues. The smartest thing I did was just begin to yell from the mountain top, Hey, I have issues. I have major issues. I just have learned how to manage my issues and still be of service with my issues with my dysfunction. I've learned how to perfectly manage my imperfection. Now, that's not to put Lisa down. And that's not to put you down. That's to say it's okay to bring your imperfection to the table. It's okay to let your imperfection touch extraordinary behavior. It's okay for them to coexist. It's okay to live in a constant duality. You're gonna have moments where you doubt. Notice the moment. You're gonna have moments when you question yourself. Notice the moment. Rise above yourself. I call it the ballerina moment. Rise above yourself and act as if you have an eye in the palm of your hand. Look down at yourself and go, ah, you're doing that thing again. You know, that thing you do when you start saying, I'm not good enough, that thing you do. I used to do that to myself because I would walk in the room and not be the only black person. Like, are they cool with me being here? Is there anyone gonna say any one of those awkward? So I would ballerina myself and go, ah, there you go again, Lisa, getting uncomfortable in your skin, invite the entire you in the room. And if anyone has a challenge with that, allow them to manage that. That's not your job. So don't take on someone else's discomfort with your presence. So be okay with that. Don't try to outrun it and don't get don't get daunted or thrown off because it's present. It's present Everywhere you are everywhere you go there you are all of you all of you your brilliance and your insecurities Your powerful self-talk and your chatter and so the idea is to understand when are you in your most powerful way and When you you feel like you're sliding out, you need to have neuro linguistic programming in place. And that's an anchor to tell you, ah, you slipped out. Let's get back in. Now, for me, I have two anchors. One, I raise my hand above and then I look down at myself. You notice how I keep looking down because I literally say my eye is right here And I'm looking down at little Lisa Because little Lisa shows up and she gets in big Lisa's way Right and little Lisa is my 21 year old who was insecure She's my 13 my 16 year old who didn't know she was dyslexic She's my 25 year old who had this beautiful body but didn't quite have the maturity to match it and all this attention coming from man. She's so many parts of me and I bring her on the journey. And when she starts coming into the foreplay and she's interrupting things because she's scared, she's frustrated, she's lonely, she still comes in. I rise above and I know this looks crazy and I'm not like, oh, I'm a real practical girl. I rise above, I look down at her and I go, I understand you're scared. I understand you're frustrated. I understand you're angry, but you have to let me lead. I studied. I've worked. I've went, I've got education for us. Let me guide. So I talk to my little Lisa. I let her live. I tell her all the time. You can ride along on this journey. But you have to stay in the backseat and let me drive. So you have to be willing to confront your own self, talk to your own self. And then ask for help, ask for help, send out an SOS signal and have someone who's only committed to your highest consciousness to be able to throw you a lifeline. So that's two parts. That was amazing. One question I actually have though is if you're going for, you true self and then going to rise above it, how do you then rise above it? Because I think a lot of people get stuck in the accept myself, accept the feelings, accept the emotion, but there isn't that drive to get past it. To step out of that takes the hard, freaking work. So how do you get, how do you do that? So number one, you have to begin with the end in mind. So you have to know where you want to end up. So I want to tell you something that I did a long time ago and if you're bold, the bold and the courageous will do it. And everyone else, this is just entertainment for you. But write your legacy or write your eulogy. Start the sentence with, Here lies a woman who. And what did you do while you were here? You got to get so sold out on what you haven't done yet. What you haven't done yet has to call you to your greatest version. What you haven't done yet has to get you out of the sinking sand. What you haven't done yet has to be so powerful, Lisa, that it calls you to confront yourself. But if you don't know what that is, you can make it all up and you can be totally totally wrong. But be totally wrong with some like bad ass stuff, like me totally, amazing things. You can be wrong. But you've got to set an intention that's so freaking off the chart, off the chart. My intention when I wrote my eulogy 22 years ago, here lies a woman who connected humanity. Here lies a woman who inspired people to reach across color lines, religious lines, geographical lines, and social economic lines. Here lies a woman who inspired people to live so fully. Here lies a woman who supported, inspired, and saved thousands of teen lives. Here lies a woman who gave her life to the greater cause of healing for others. I just kept saying here lies a woman who, here lies a woman who, here lies a woman who, and I said stuff who I had no idea how I'd do it. I don't know how to do that. It's like that's crazy. At the time that I said it, here lies a woman who helped to heal all of humanity. When I first said that, I was an Inglewood California girl. I had not left LA County. I had never spoken to an audience that wasn't all black. I had never spoken to an audience that was of different religion. I didn't know how I was gonna do it. So the way you do it is one, what are you going to do when you're standing, when you're flying, when you're soaring? What will you do? And you need to hold that in a space where it can get you from a seated position. You look up at the you you're becoming. You look up at the woman, the man that you claim that you know yourself to be, but you gotta write it. You gotta design it, you gotta feel it. I felt it, I felt it in my bones. And when I couldn't get the entire glimpse, I just took a piece of it. So Lisa, you don't have to get the entire glimpse. Just get a piece of it. That's that 200 steps. Don't look for 2000 steps. Look for 200 steps. Look for 20 steps. Heck! Look for two steps. Look for two steps. Be okay with two steps because you have to watch out. We also use the need to know everything as an excuse to sit still. Right. We use that as an excuse to sit still. So call yourself. Call yourself out. And here's the other thing that I recommend you do. I've been doing this now for 16 years. I get an account of true accountability community. I get an accountability community where I share with them. Here's what I want to do in the next 18 months, I never do a year because a year can go by so fast. I do 18 months to three years. Here's who I, here's who I expect to be. And here are the results I expect to be producing. I don't just talk about here's what I want to do. Here's the results I expect. You talked about me being action-oriented. I'm radically action. Here are the results I expect to produce to the world. Here are my goals. Here are my intentions. Hold me to that. If you really want to get up and turn your crawl into a walk, turn your walk into a run and turn your run into a sore, right? One, write the ending. Here lies the woman who. And then get an accountability community. And then hold yourself to a sense of neuro-linguistic programming. What do you do when you feel like you're sinking? What can you do? What will disrupt that? What's the pattern interrupt? Nourel and linguistic programming says insert a pattern interrupt. Interrupt the pattern. If you fill yourself yourself thinking interrupt the pattern, call in a lifeline. Call yourself to who you say you're becoming. Have someone hold you accountable to the greatest version of yourself? Live in constant duality with your imperfection, with your dysfunction. Let them meet each other. Let your brilliance meet your dysfunction like, hey, this one. Hey, issues. How are you? So today issues, today insecurity, today competition and comparison. Today, what we're going to do is we're going to spend today writing content so that individuals who are stuck can find the best version of them. I'm going to ask you to sit in the back seat while I do this. Like literally, don't wait until you have touched some form of perfection. It's not coming. I love it. I actually also do that with my negative voice. So I was never, I always tried to fight it, right? Oh, how do I stop it? How do I stop it? I stopped it. Eventually I realized Lisa, you've tried for

four to years to stop it. You still can't. So what if it became my friend? And now it's like, hello, here. Right. Hello friend. What are you trying to tell me? All right now, go and sit in the corner, right? Like I so love that. Yeah. And then expose it because it's that It actually minimizes it.

So one of the things I'm committed to doing is to help people find their power place through finding their power voice. Right? I built a career, a lifestyle. I've touched so many people using my voice, my power voice. But Lisa, for so many years, I didn't have it. I didn't know I had it. I didn't know how to

hone it. I didn't know how to use it. I didn't know how to turn it up. I didn't know how to crack it. I didn't know that it didn't have to be in a certain way. And so I'm committed now to help people find their power voice, but to help them give themselves permission to have a power voice. and then to hone the skill sets because there's a skill set that reaches across

cultural lines. There's a skill set that reaches across generational lines. You want to touch young people? That's a skill set. It's two things. It's a personal development and personal mastery awareness that allows you to give yourself permission to do that. The first thing Lisa is you have to give yourself permission to have something to say. Hello, you have to give yourself permission to be worthy of being heard. You have to give yourself permission to have had that history, that background, all of that dysfunction and still be the perfect person for such a time as this. You're perfect for such a time as this. No one can bring it like you can bring it. No one can deliver it like you can deliver it. No one can touch the world, the world of one, a world of 100, or world of 100,000 the way you can. You are a unique unrepeatable miracle. No one can do you better than you. So the first part is giving yourself permission to show up shine and show out. Ooh, that's very, very powerful girl. You said that everyone needs to give themselves over a thousand second chances because we're going to fail. We're going to try something. We're not going to do it very well well and to give ourselves the grace to get back up and say, all right, that was number 232. I think it's so beautiful and I heard you tell the story about how you every year of your son's birthday, you would almost give yourself grace to fail that year. Tubby birthday, Jelani. Now remember, this is my first time being the mother of a nine-year-old happy birthday,

Jalani. Now remember, son, this is my first time being the mother of a 13-year-old happy birthday, Jalani. Now remember, son, this is my first time being the mother of a 17-year-old. And can I tell you, when he turned 18, I'm not sure what I did, but I made some dumb decision and it hurt his feelings and I felt really bad.

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