How To Fight Well

The Art of Accomplishment

Brett Kistler

Management, Mental Health, Personal Development, Education, Self-improvement, Business, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 269 Ratings

🗓️ 25 October 2024

⏱️ 53 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Most people never consider that fighting can be a useful and healthy practice for our relationships — and that “fighting well” is a skill that can be learned. We resist conflict until it builds up and we reach a breaking point, and then BAM! Our trauma runs the show and we risk re-traumatizing ourselves and others. In this episode, Joe and Brett talk about how to fight well. They explore how: • Healthy fighting can actually lead to healing, growth, and deeper connection • The importance of speaking your truth • What to NOT do during fights • The empowerment of a good fight • When to walk away (and how) • When a fight is no longer worth fighting Chapters 00:00 - Introduction to Relationships and Fighting 03:00 - The Journey of Fighting Well 05:51 - Understanding Healthy Conflict 09:02 - Navigating Trauma in Relationships 12:03 - The Role of Window of Tolerance 14:57 - The Dynamics of Emotional and Logical Partners 17:53 - The Importance of Speaking Your Truth 20:54 - Recognizing Apathy in Relationships 24:01 - The Gift of Conflict in Relationships 27:02 - The Nature of Truth in Perspectives 29:52 - Final Thoughts on Fighting and Love

Transcript

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0:00.0	You know, for most of my life, anytime that I would imagine an amazing relationship,
0:11.3	the first thing that I'd think of, or the first image that would come to mind is like an elderly
0:16.5	couple sitting in the park, sweetly holding hands, seemingly on the other side of whatever
0:24.3	challenges life brought them and just being there with each other.
0:29.8	And as I started to have relationships of my own, they were typically anything but that, except for maybe in some of the early
0:40.3	parts of the relationship where it's just like, oh, wow, everything's going so perfectly
0:45.0	because we're being exactly who we think the other one needs us to be for as long as that
0:48.1	will last.
0:49.3	Exactly.
0:49.9	With a little help from some love chemicals thrown in the mix from the, from that first three
0:54.5	months of euphoria, crushingness.
0:56.9	Yeah.
0:57.9	Yeah.
0:59.0	And also, you know, we, we start to recognize that there's, you know, some of the best
1:05.4	sex we ever have is like after a good fight.
1:08.4	And like, what the hell is that about?
1:10.1	Yeah, yeah.
1:13.3	And so, yeah, you just recently recorded some youtube videos a series basically about relationships and how to fight well in relationships
1:21.1	and i'd love to go into that today yeah that would be Yeah, that journey with the YouTube was quite a thing.
1:30.5	You know, we decided to do this YouTube channel. And so I did it the way that I normally do it is I
1:37.3	research how do you do a YouTube channel and I spoke to all these people. And we were lucky enough to
1:42.2	know some YouTubers who'd, you know,
	...

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