How To Discover Your Kink
How To! with Mike Pesca
Peach Fish Projects
4.3 • 2K Ratings
🗓️ 20 May 2025
⏱️ 40 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Lily wants to have satisfying sex that plays to her core desires, but lately it's been hard to describe to potential partners exactly what she wants. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Dr. Danielle Harel and Celeste Hirschman—sexologists, authors, and the founders of the Somatica Institute. They coach Lily (and all of us) on how to define the individual experiences we're seeking—and communicate them to others.
If you liked this episode check out:
How To Have the Best Sex of Your Life
How To Make Sexual Consent Sexy
How To Lose Your 'Virginity' at 43
How To Have an Open Relationship
Also: Death, Sex & Money's Sex Parties and Shakespeare With Carvell Wallace
Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.
The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hi everyone, I'm Susie Weiss, and I've noticed there's just simply not enough podcasts in the world. So I'm launching my own. Let's go. Let's go, baby. Second Thought is a weekly show about pop culture. The stuff everyone's been binging, arguing about, obsessing over. Here's the thing about heated rivalry. I mean, even the most devoted swifties, I think we can agree, not our best work. We'll be hosting thoughtful conversations with culture's most important figures. Talk about genius. |
| 0:22.6 | Talk about generational talent. |
| 0:23.7 | Coming to headphones near you on can agree not our best work. We'll be hosting thoughtful conversations with culture's most important figures. |
| 0:21.8 | Talk about genius. |
| 0:22.6 | Talk about generational talent. |
| 0:23.7 | Coming to headphones near you on April 17th with a first guest you won't want to miss. |
| 0:27.8 | Available wherever you get your podcasts. |
| 0:30.5 | You actually created something that is really arousing for you. |
| 0:33.9 | I just want to congratulate you on that. |
| 0:35.7 | It created some disappointment and misery, |
| 0:38.2 | but also there were a lot of moments of excitement. |
| 0:43.4 | Welcome to how to. I'm Carval Wallace. You may have already figured it out from the title, |
| 0:48.9 | but today's episode about finding your kink is probably not safe for work, depending on |
| 0:53.8 | where you work, I suppose. |
| 0:55.3 | But a more important heads up is that we do talk in passing about sexual trauma. |
| 1:00.2 | So if this one isn't for you, then please take care. |
| 1:03.8 | And we'll see you next week. |
| 1:06.3 | So we've done a number of episodes on sex over the years. |
| 1:09.8 | I mean, this is an advice show, and it probably won't surprise you that sex advice is something that people, a lot of people, are seeking. |
| 1:17.4 | And the main takeaway from most of those episodes is that you need to prioritize pleasure. |
| 1:22.6 | Sex should feel good. It should feel nourishing. It should feel connecting. |
| 1:27.0 | But what if your desire is a little more |
... |
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