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In Miss Peterson's fifth grade homeroom class was the first time that I unlocked my

superpower.

I was so sick in fifth grade that I had missed 34 days of school and they were going to kick me out.

Miss Peterson never really kind of respected me and the kids thought it was just like this loser weakling.

And so Miss Peterson said everyone has to write a one-page fictional story.

And this was the time Robin Hood Prince of Thieves came out,

where Kevin Kossner, with an American accent,

played Robin Hood, and Morgan Freeman played

his sidekick Azim, like the first time you'll ever

see a Muslim.

And we're like, oh my God, Morgan Freeman's bad-ass. And he's like noble,

but he prays in a way no Muslim has ever prayed. And we're like, we've never prayed like that,

...