This is NPR's Life Kit. I'm Monsey Krana, one of the producers on the show, and I've got a confession to make.

I'm something of a chronic crusher.

Like every time I have just slightly too much eye contact with someone on the subway,

I find myself indulging in this little fantasy of thinking about them, wondering what they're up to, what they've had for lunch,

who they're following on Instagram, and then I find myself hoping that eventually, just like Taylor Swift says,

they'll wake up and realize that the person they've been looking for has been here the whole time, even if I don't know their last name.

This can be a fun distraction from work or even real life drama, but crushes can be awkward, embarrassing, and even stressful.

They can feel all consuming, especially if you're just keeping it to yourself.

Plus, when I get a crush now, I think come on. I thought crushes were like braces or acne. They disappear once you get older.

Not only does it not go away when you get older, it actually can intensify. That's D'Amona Hoffman. She's a dating coach who has a lot about other people's crushes.

And on today's episode, we're catching feelings. But fear not. D'Amona is here to coach us through the emotional follow-up.

Why do we get crushes in the first place, even as adults? And should you act on every crush? And how can you move forward in a healthy and productive way?

So, to start us off, how does a crush develop versus a relationship?

Many times, crushes and relationships start in the same place. We begin with a feeling of interest that develops into curiosity.

And then curiosity sometimes becomes infatuation. And the same parts of our brain light up when we connect with someone that we feel something for.

We have dopamine that's released into our system. And then we're like, ooh, I'm high on this feeling. I feel euphoric. I feel elated. I'm excited to see them.

And then oxytocin comes in, and that's the bonding hormone. And we feel like we want to be around that person all the time.

And then we either make the decision to express how we feel or the other person does. Or we do not. And that's sort of the dividing line.

A lot of times between something that's a crush, and then something that has relationship potential.

It's so good to know that there's a biological aspect to all of this.

Because I feel like crushes can feel all consuming, both physically and mentally.

And I'm wondering if you can talk a little bit about that aspect and how to know if a crush is negatively affecting you.

...