How To Cosmically Channel Galactic Unicorns

Distorted View Daily

Tim Henson

Comedy Fiction, Improv, Fiction, Comedy

4.8 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 28 February 2024

⏱️ 54 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

On Today’s Show: 00:00:00 Introduction 02:19:08 Lord Douche And The Neverending Rental Car Saga 04:35:08 Communicating With Galactic Unicorns 16:40:05 Racist Freak Out Over Hot Sauce 20:14:22 Having A Complete Mental Breakdown Because She Took A Photo 31:00:06 Sign Up For The Sideshow! 32:32:00 Taylor Swift Is About To Activate Her Global Coven Of Teenage […]

The post How To Cosmically Channel Galactic Unicorns first appeared on Distorted View Daily.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Hey Freaks, it's Wednesday, February 28th, 2024, coming up on the program today, communicating
0:06.2	with the Galactic Unicorns of planet Vourlan 7. Plus, Pizza Jesus is both horrifying
0:12.2	and scrumptious looking.
0:14.4	And thanks to pollution, we now all have mutant penises.
0:17.8	All this was your voicemails today!
0:19.8	Distorted View Daily
0:23.2	Daily proudly presents Mr. Rogers calling an elderly woman.
0:28.8	Hello.
0:31.8	Hello? Hello?
0:33.0	Hello?
0:34.0	Yes, hi.
0:35.0	Who's this?
0:37.0	This is Fred Rogers.
0:39.0	Fred Rogers.
0:40.0	What can I do for you?
0:42.0	I remember one time some of our neighbors who were studying ballet dancing
0:47.0	got dressed up to look like raccoons.
0:51.0	Oh, you don't say. Well, did you know something sir? I don't know you and I wish you wouldn't call here my phone anymore.
1:01.0	I'm just an old lady and I don't want to hear all that
1:03.8	nonsense. I don't care about dressed up against my coons. That's
1:07.7	from stupid. So please don't call here again, I understand.
1:12.0	Just making some popcorn yes I'm just
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Tim Henson, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Tim Henson and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.