How to Care Less What People Think
Soul Gum
by Victoria Hutchins
4.9 • 560 Ratings
🗓️ 25 May 2025
⏱️ 45 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
The bad news is you’re always going to care what people think. The good news is it doesn’t have to control your life. In this episode, I walk through 9 ways to rethink your relationship with external validation. If you want to be done letting other people’s opinions steer your every move, this one’s for you.
EPISODE OUTLINE
00:00 Intro
05:28 1. Caring what people think is natural
07:14 2. You can’t control how you feel, but you can control what you do
16:07 3. You should care what some people think
18:16 4. Not caring what people think ≠ not caring about people
19:45 5. Chasing approval always backfires eventually
26:21 6. You don’t know what people think
30:29 7. Other people are not thinking about you as much as it feels like they are
35:32 8. You care more about other people’s opinions when you don’t have your own
37:28 9. It’s okay to want to be with people who make you feel good
39:27 Lightning round recap
42:29 Challenge
EPISODE LINKS
• The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
• Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
• The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga
• The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir
• The Art of Living by Epictetus
• Social Rejection Triggers Physical Pain Brain Centers
• Surgeon General's Report on the Health Impact of Loneliness
MY LINKS
• MAKE BELIEVE is out everywhere now
• Get a signed copy of MAKE BELIEVE from Blue Willow Bookshop
• Join the waitlist for future retreats!
• Find me @thedailyvictorian on Instagram
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | caring about what other people think is completely natural, but it doesn't have to control your life. |
| 0:07.7 | Let's talk about it. |
| 0:11.0 | Welcome back to Soulgum, the self-development podcast with philosophical, psychological, and spiritual flair. |
| 0:19.7 | I'm your host, Victoria Hutchins. My goal is to give your soul |
| 0:24.1 | something to chew on. And today, we are talking about how to care less what other people think |
| 0:31.2 | about you, or to put it more accurately, how to not let the fact that you do care what other people |
| 0:36.8 | think about you control your choices. |
| 0:39.3 | If you listen to this podcast and you know me, you might know that I spent a lot of the first |
| 0:44.6 | part of my life, the first like 25 years of my life performing for other people, basing my choices |
| 0:51.4 | almost completely around what would get me the most external validation. |
| 0:56.0 | And I still struggle with that. I think it's something all of us have to navigate on an ongoing |
| 1:00.5 | basis forever. I do not believe people when they say, I don't care what other people think. |
| 1:06.5 | I don't believe that. And if that were true, if you did not care what anyone thought ever i would be |
| 1:14.2 | concerned so in today's episode we're going to be talking about questions like why do we care what |
| 1:20.2 | other people think when should we care what other people think how can caring what other people think |
| 1:26.1 | backfire and how can we stop letting our fear of what other people think too much backfire and how can we stop letting |
| 1:29.6 | our fear of what other people think control our lives? Specifically, I'm going to walk through |
| 1:35.3 | nine mindset shifts or points on the topic of caring what other people think that hopefully |
| 1:41.0 | will leave you feeling less alone in struggling with this and more able to not |
| 1:46.8 | let your fear of what other people think control everything you do. So let's dive in. But first, |
| 1:53.1 | this episode of Soulgum is brought to you by me. That's right, this is not sponsored. This is a |
| 2:00.2 | labor of my love for you. I have chosen to keep this season of Soulgum ad free all season long, which means I'm not putting any of those annoying autoplay ads at the start of any episode all season. And instead, I'm taking a few moments to tell you about some things that I have to offer. Number one, I wanted to let you all know |
... |
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