How to Build Your Self Worth By Meeting Your “Inner Mother”: Reparenting & Parts Work 101
What's The Juice
Olivia Amitrano
4.9 • 2.1K Ratings
🗓️ 17 February 2025
⏱️ 77 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Ep. 135 Do you feel like there’s often a rebellious, childlike part of you calling the shots despite your best efforts to take action aligned with your goals? Does she procrastinate to the point of self-sabotage, or go for the box of cookies when you know a solid meal is what you need? Does this rebellion come out when you’re working to an extreme, being especially hard on yourself or tying your worth solely to your productivity? This is where “reparenting” ourselves comes in: the part of adulthood where we realize it’s our job to be our own parent, but we have no idea where to start when a parent was also unkind to themselves or not in touch with their own worth and needs. Over the last four years, I've slowly learned how to answer the question, "what do I need right now?" — sometimes it’s good old discipline, other times it’s connection or rest. I found that I got to recreate my own “inner mother” who was capable of being honest and curious enough to make the call from a place of trust and self knowing, but it wasn’t easy to get there. I'm walking you through every step I had to go through to move from self-criticism to self-parenting.
HERE'S THE JUICE:
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Could letting go of perfectionism and competition help us rediscover joy and authentic self-expression?
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How to shift away from productivity-based self-worth to intrinsic self-worth & why treating yourself with kindness can be used as a tool to build self-trust over time
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Practical steps for developing your inner mother voice through accessible day-to-day actions such as unstructured play to explore creativity
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How to self-regulate and break the cycles of self-avoidance we might have formed in our childhood
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Ways to recognize when your inner child is running the show and possibly hindering your day to day without us even realizing it
TIMESTAMPS:
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Isn't it weird how one day you grow up and there's no longer someone there to parent you or to tell you what to do? |
| 0:12.3 | And all of a sudden, you have to be an adult when you've never been an adult before. |
| 0:15.7 | And you essentially have to parent yourself. |
| 0:17.6 | But then when you go to parent yourself, you realize that some of the |
| 0:21.9 | ways your parents parented you were less than ideal. And some of the ways that taking care of |
| 0:27.5 | yourself perhaps was modeled for you was also less than ideal. And all of a sudden, you are faced |
| 0:32.7 | with this task of having to be your own parent and having to manage your life and having to get in touch with |
| 0:39.4 | your needs and figure out if you need a bubble bath or discipline or a walk or time with friends. |
| 0:47.1 | Like you have to suddenly figure out your needs and be in touch with yourself and have this |
| 0:50.9 | loving relationship with yourself, right? |
| 0:53.1 | If you want a happy, successful life, |
| 0:54.8 | when you have no idea how to do that, when you have no idea how to be kind to yourself and not |
| 1:00.2 | beat yourself up and how to parent yourself. And that was something that I struggled with for the longest |
| 1:05.9 | time. I used to beat myself up in my head all day, every day. I used to tie a lot of my identity to my productivity and all of these other external markers |
| 1:15.1 | instead of knowing how to have a relationship with myself or knowing how to answer the question, |
| 1:20.7 | what do I need right now? |
| 1:22.5 | And so I've gone on a journey the last few years of figuring out how to do that and figuring out how to develop my own |
| 1:30.4 | inner mother voice and how to parent myself from a place of the way that I wish I was parented. |
| 1:38.3 | And so today we are going to talk all about that. We're going to talk all about reparenting yourself |
| 1:43.8 | and how to develop that |
| 1:45.1 | self-relationship between your inner mother and your inner child so that no one part of you |
| 1:51.0 | is feeling imbalanced or running the show. Because I used to notice, and I have a clip about this on |
... |
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