How to Build Self-Esteem

The Look & Sound of Leadership

Essential Communications - Tom Henschel

Education, Executive Presence, Management, Careers, Executive Coaching, Self-improvement, Business

4.8 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 6 February 2025

⏱️ 24 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

A leader suddenly hears how harshly she speaks to herself. Wanting help, she turns to her coach who gives her tools to build a practice of self-esteem. The three self-esteem practices are: Self-Acceptance: Practice being FOR yourselfSelf-Worth & Happiness: Practice saying, “I am worthy of being happy”Live in Reality: Practice acknowledging what is and what is not. Download our free Feeling Words Grid. The Tools bin with other free resources is here. Four ways to...

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome back to the look and sound of leadership, an ongoing series of executive coaching tips
0:08.1	designed to help you be perceived in the workplace the way you want to be perceived.
0:12.8	I'm Tom Henschel, your executive coach, and today we're talking about how to build self-esteem.
0:21.9	Tamara was quick to blame herself.
0:26.1	One goal for her coaching was to be more assertive with her boss, Jess.
0:30.4	Tamara and I would rehearse assertive conversations, and she would take them to Jess.
0:35.9	Afterwards, Tamara would tell me all the ways it had gone wrong.
0:41.6	One day, reciting another failure, she stopped.
0:46.7	She said, do you hear how I talk to myself?
0:50.5	It's no wonder I'm not more assertive with Jess.
0:52.6	Hearing what I say to myself, it's like I think I'm an idiot or something.
0:55.4	"'I wish it would stop.'
0:57.1	"'I asked, if it did stop, what would be different?'
1:00.8	"'She gave a laugh.
1:02.2	"'I might be happy. That'd be a change.'
1:04.7	"'Huh,' I said, really, you're not happy?'
1:07.2	"'Well, no, I mean, I'm not unhappy, but I do worry a lot. I've always been a worrier.
1:13.7	You've heard me. I mean, mostly, I worry what I'm doing wrong. That's how it feels. It feels like
1:19.8	I'm doing my life wrong. So there you go. Yeah, maybe I am unhappy. I ask sincerely,
1:26.5	you don't know?'
1:28.0	"'No, I do.
1:29.7	"'Well, it's hard, isn't it, being disappointed?'
	...

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