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Mom Can't Cook! A DCOM Podcast

How to Build a Better Boy

Mom Can't Cook! A DCOM Podcast

Luke Westaway & Andy Farrant

Tv & Film, Comedy

5.0944 Ratings

🗓️ 4 August 2025

⏱️ 149 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

We've all imagined how we would build a better boy (built in jetpack/hair made of candy/is actually a dog instead) but few of us have the technology at our disposal to make our dreams a reality. Not so teen geniuses Gabby and Mae, thanks to advanced character creation technology belonging to Mae's dad, a famous videogame designer who doesn't appear to have actually designed any games.

Except get this: Mae's dad actually works for the Department of Defence, and by fiddling around in his office trying to make the perfect super hunk, Mae and Gabby have accidentally created the military cyborg X17, AKA Albert, who is more than just the perfect prom date: he's the perfect weapon to defeat America's Enemies At Home And Abroad. But can Mae and Gabby keep Albert safe from the military? How will he navigate high school life? And will he revert to his original programming and just kill *everyone*? Listen and find out!

If you crave bonus episodes of Mom Can't Cook!, monthly livestream watchalongs, or a shoutout at the end of the show, remember to check out our Patreon at Patreon.com/extrahelpings.

If you've watched How to Build a Better Boy and have your own thoughts, email them to us at momcantcookpod@gmail.com for a chance to have them read out on the show. Next time on Mom Can't Cook! we'll be watching 2020's Lawrence Brothers magnum opus Money Plane. See you then!

This episode is sponsored by NordVPN. Visit nordvpn.com/momcantcook and use code MOMCANTCOOK for four extra months on the two year plan, and to protect your internet connection and privacy online.

This episode is also sponsored by Insert Coin Clothing! Visit insertcoinclothing.com and use code LETSTALKABOUTX17BABY for 10% off online orders. Codes are not applicable on charity items, bundles, gift cards, postage and some products at launch. Codes cannot be combined with other deals or promotions and are valid until the end of 2025.

Thanks to sponsor Factor, whose delicious, ready-to-eat meals make eating better every day easy. If you're in the US, go to factormeals.com/momcantcook50off and use code momcantcook50off to get 50 percent off plus FREE shipping on your first box.

Thanks to this week's other sponsor, Saily! Get an exclusive 15% discount on your first Saily data plans, simply download the Saily app and use code MOMCANTCOOK at checkout, or visit saily.com/momcantcook!

Contact Multitude for Advertising Inquiries: multitude.productions/ads

Check out the official Mom Can't Cook! store for sweet merch: momcantcookstore.com and check out Mom Can't Cook! Extra Helpings for bonus episodes!

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

I'm a fish boy who skates for team X-blades with a leprechaun who plays basketball.

0:09.0

Come to my smart house.

0:11.0

My alien sister don't come hungry because I'll bet my mom can't cook cook Hello everyone and welcome to

0:25.0

Mom Can't Cook a decom podcast

0:26.5

I'm one of your hosts Andy Farron

0:28.2

And I'm the other host Luke Westaway

0:30.3

And yes, hang on

0:31.3

Just type in the final bits of information

0:35.2

Oh what are you doing there, Luke, on the big science computer That we have? Oh, yeah. Well, you know, I've booked out the big science computer. The mom can't cook a big science computer for the day. It's because I can't get a date. Right. Okay. Yeah, my love life is stalled, unfortunately. But don't worry. I remembered that my dad works for a video game

0:55.8

company. That's right. He does. He works for... Sega. Yeah. That's right. Yeah. So you get all the

1:03.1

Sonics before everyone else, don't you? Yeah. Yeah, I do get all the... It's a shame that it's Sega,

1:07.9

because I don't want the Sonics first.

1:12.4

But never mind.

1:22.3

But I've got access to his software database and I'm just building the perfect boyfriend out of all of his bits and boats and stuff.

1:27.3

Okay. What have you got going on there? I see you've got Donkey Kong's legs. That's interesting. Well, Dad doesn't

1:29.2

own Donkey Kong's legs, so I don't know what these are doing on his computer. Well, the legs

1:32.7

are the least identifiable part of Donkey Kong. So if you're going to use any part of him,

1:36.1

that's the bit you get away, I think. The Imoto can spot these legs from a mile away.

1:41.6

He knows these legs back to front.

1:45.7

And they are back to front.

1:48.0

Better than his own legs. Which is another anti-copyright measure.

1:50.8

But for legal purposes, these are the legs of big the cat.

...

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