How to Be the Parent You Never Had (And Why It’s the Hardest—and Most Important—Work You’ll Ever Do)

After Bedtime with Big Little Feelings

Dear Media and Big Little Feelings

Big Little Feelings, After Bedtime, Deena Margolin, After Bedtime With Big Little Feelings, Kids & Family, Parenting, 105161, Kristin Gallant

4.7 • 5.7K Ratings

🗓️ 9 July 2025

⏱️ 41 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

If you’ve ever asked yourself “Why am I so triggered by my child’s emotions?” “Why does this feel harder for me than it does for everyone else?” Or “How do I raise emotionally healthy kids… when no one taught me how?” This episode is for you. Kristin and Deena go beneath the surface of parenting and into the work most of us were never taught to do: regulating, repairing, and reparenting yourself while raising your child.

You’ll learn:

The real reason parenting feels so hard (it’s not you - it’s your nervous system)
The science behind regulation and how to actually build it in real time
What generational healing looks and feels like - in messy, everyday moments
Why grief is a part of parenting when you’re doing it differently than you were parented
The 4 tools to start breaking cycles, even when you’re overwhelmed

This is the episode that helps you understand yourself. And when you understand yourself, you stop blaming yourself. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be the parent you needed.

This episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct, or indirect financial interest in products, or services referred to in this episode.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	The following podcast is a dear media production.
0:05.2	Welcome to another episode of After Bedtime with Big Little Feelings. I'm your bestie
0:09.9	Kristen. Dina is here. And today's episode, it's for the cycle breakers. Okay. It is for those of us
0:18.3	whose parents did not show up the way that we are showing up for our kids.
0:24.2	If you've ever asked yourself, why am I so triggered by my child's emotions? Okay, if you've ever
0:30.8	asked yourself, why does this parenting thing feel harder for me than it does for everyone else?
0:36.1	How do I raise emotionally healthy kids
0:38.9	when no one taught me how? And I didn't see emotional regulation. This episode is for you.
0:46.5	We are going beneath the surface of parenting and into the work most of us were never taught
0:51.5	how to do, regulating, repairing, and reparenting yourself while
0:56.2	raising your kid. You are not going to want to miss this episode. Let's get into it.
1:02.6	Welcome to After Bedtime, where the house is finally quiet, but the real noise begins. The thoughts,
1:09.6	the questions, the wondering if you're doing any of this right.
1:13.0	We're Kristen and Dina, child behavior experts, moms, and co-founders of big little feelings.
1:18.9	And we're not here to give you more pressure or perfect parenting energy.
1:22.4	Nope.
1:22.8	We're here to tell the truth, the unfiltered, beautiful, brutal truth about what it means to raise kids
1:29.1	and re-raise ourselves in the process. Because parenting isn't just about sleep schedules and
1:34.5	snack hacks. It's about healing. It's about breaking cycles. It's about becoming the kind of adult
1:39.8	you want your kids to grow up to be. This is the place where we say the quiet parts out loud,
1:44.9	and we're so glad that you're here. Hi. Where are you right now? What is this room?
1:51.4	I'm in my closet office. Oh, this is cute. Yeah, I transformed one of my closets into a literal office
	...

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