How to Be Connected (But Not Too Connected) with Our Kids

What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

Parenting, Kids & Family, Comedy

4.6 • 962 Ratings

🗓️ 26 March 2025

⏱️ 47 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

We want to build a family that feels close and connected, but how do we know when the boundaries in our relationships are too porous? Here's what family enmeshment means, what it looks like, and how to look for signs of enmeshment in our relationships with our kids. Amy and Margaret discuss: The family systems theory and how it relates to enmeshment How clear boundaries create safety in relationships How enmeshment in family dynamics affects stress tolerability Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Melissa Porrey for VeryWell: What Is Enmeshment, and How Do You Set Boundaries? Sharon Martin, for Psych Central: The Enmeshed Family System: What It Is and How to Break Free Jesse L. Coe et. al for Journal of Family Psychology: Family Cohesion and Enmeshment Moderate Associations between Maternal Relationship Instability and Children’s Externalizing Problems Our Fresh Take with Gabor Maté and Gordon Neufeld, authors of Hold On to Your Kids: WHY PARENTS NEED TO MATTER MORE THAN PEERS We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson. mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, cognitive labor, emotional labor, mental load, second shift, family meeting, partners, marriage, spouse, relationships, couples, enmeshment, family enmeshment

Transcript

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0:00.0	Don't open a pack of smoke. Share it with your kid and tell them your problems.
0:06.1	What fresh hell. Laughing in the face of motherhood. The cohesion emmeshment thing can be hard to
0:12.3	receive where you are, particularly if you came from a family that had a high level of enmeshment.
0:16.9	With Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson. Well, I'm trying to do it the way you want it, but you're trying to do the way I want it,
0:23.4	and we're both ending up with something we don't want.
0:25.4	A podcast that solves today's parenting dilemmas.
0:28.5	So you don't have to.
0:30.1	Having rules and boundaries that are clear, create safety.
0:37.4	Hello, everyone, and welcome to What Fresh Hell laughing in the face of mother.
0:41.1	This is Margaret.
0:42.1	And this is Amy.
0:43.1	This week we're going to talk about how to be connected with our kids, but not too connected.
0:47.9	Not the bad kind of connected, the good kind of connected.
0:50.4	It's a very narrow slice.
0:52.7	You know how they say it is easier for a camel to walk through the eye of a needle
0:56.2	than a rich man to get in heaven like it seems to be a very narrow window that we have to be connected
1:02.2	but not too connected yes yes and i feel like this is the kind of thing that is very easy to
1:10.1	recognize in other people as so many things are, right?
1:14.4	Yeah, and I also think it's the kind of thing that gets very into the like, okay, mom, stop being such a loser.
1:23.1	Mom, in a way that we often push back against. But I think that because we can hold two things in our minds at the same time, it's worthwhile
1:32.2	to say, yes, this is societal pressure.
1:37.0	Yes, this is stereotypical annoyingness.
	...

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