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What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

DEEP DIVE: Does Having Kids Make Us Happy?

What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

Parenting, Kids & Family, Comedy

4.6962 Ratings

🗓️ 24 March 2025

⏱️ 46 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

This month's Deep Dive series is all about how much fun we are—or aren't—having while raising our kids. Listen to the whole playlist on Spotify. The world wants us to believe that having kids will bring us untold happiness. It's a love you've never known! Your life will never be the same! The reality is a little more complicated, and that can be quite confusing. As psychologist Jean Twenge points out, "Parents might believe that it's their fault when the transition to parenthood is difficult, rather than seeing it as something that everyone experiences." So: does having kids make us happy? Is that even the right question? Is it supposed to? Are the benefits that come from parenting different, and perhaps larger, than happiness? Here are links to some writing and studies on the topic that we discuss in this episode:  Paul Bloom for The Atlantic: What Becoming a Parent Really Does to Your Happiness Dan Kahneman et al: A survey method for characterizing daily life experience: the day reconstruction method Roudi Nazarina Roy et al: Effects of Expected and Perceived Division of Childcare and Household Labor on Mother’s Relationship Satisfaction during Their Transition to Parenthood E.E. LeMasters: Parenthood as Crisis M. Luhmann et al: Subjective well-being and adaptation to life events: A meta-analysis.  Jay Belsky et al: Patterns of Marital Change across the Transition to Parenthood: Pregnancy to Three Years Postpartum Jean M. Twenge et al: Parenthood and Marital Satisfaction: A Meta-Analytic Review Rainer Maria Rilke: “Go To The Limits of Your Longing” We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson. mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, parental stress, emotions, kids emotions, parent emotions, uncertainty, fun with kids, fun parenting

Transcript

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0:00.0

Turns out to be like cracked nipples and lots of money spent.

0:06.0

What fresh hell.

0:07.7

Laughing in the face of motherhood.

0:10.3

Somebody picking up the pacifier from the ground with Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.

0:15.4

Yeah, you could have good days and bad days on the same day.

0:18.7

A podcast that solves today's parenting dilemmas so you don't have to.

0:23.7

Somebody else is more important.

0:31.3

Hello, everyone, and welcome to what fresh hell laughing in the face of motherhood.

0:34.9

This is Margaret.

0:35.8

And this is Amy.

0:36.5

And today we're talking about

0:38.3

whether kids make us happy. Spoiler alert. I'm thinking maybe not so much. Short answer is kind of.

0:46.2

I'm bringing the research today and the studies and the... Well, there was a famous study a while

0:51.6

back that found that kids objectively make people less happy while they're in the

0:57.8

house. There are studies of this. There are studies of that. But yes, there was a famous study. It's like,

1:01.8

wait, they don't make us happy. And I think as we're going to discover, the pain is in the gap.

1:06.8

The pain is in the clear understanding that we are given that kids make you happy.

1:13.7

The kids are going to give you a happiness like you've never known before.

1:17.4

And then when it's more complicated than that, you feel horrible about that thinking that you're the only person.

1:21.7

You're not the only person feeling complicated about life changes.

1:25.3

As I've said before, you think it's going to be Jesus delivering

1:28.3

you baby happiness down the happiness rainbow. And it turns out to be like crack nipples and

...

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