How to Avoid Drama...Are you a Persecutor, a Rescuer or a Victim? Understanding the Karpman Drama Triangle

The Virtual Couch

Tony Overbay LMFT

Education, Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Self-improvement

5 • 643 Ratings

🗓️ 16 June 2020

⏱️ 42 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

For most of us, we will do almost anything to avoid drama, even to the detriment of our personal and professional relationships. Yet at times, even the most mindful person may find themselves feeling like a victim who has no voice. While on other occasions, when seeing someone being picked on, we may attempt to rescue someone in that same victim role. And even crazier still, we may occasionally find ourselves trying to teach, or lecture or punish those who we feel are playing the role of the martyr, or victim. Stephen Karpman, M.D. identified these three roles, The Victim, The Persecutor, and The Rescuer, as part of what has become known as the “Karpman Drama Triangle.” Understand the drama triangle can not only help you recognize the negative roles that we tend to gravitate to in strong, emotion-filled interactions, aka “drama,” but also how to get out of these unhealthy situations. - Tony references a wonderful summary of the Karpman Drama Triangle by Linda Graham, MFT which can be found here https://lindagraham-mft.net/triangle-victim-rescuer-persecutor-get/ And for more information on Transactional Analysis (mentioned in the episode) click here https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/transactional-analysis.html - Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help. And Tony is so confident that this program will work, that he's offering a money-back guarantee! - This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. - Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo - Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.

Transcript

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0:00.0	I think it's safe to say that most of us are not big fans of drama.
0:04.7	I mean, I guess unless it's in a movie.
0:06.5	But we will do almost anything to avoid drama even to the detriment of our personal and professional relationships.
0:12.4	But at times, even the most mindful, Zen person might find themselves feeling like a victim who has no voice.
0:18.1	And on other occasions, if you're seeing somebody who is being picked on,
0:21.9	we might even attempt to go rescue that person in that same victim role that we might have found
0:26.0	ourselves in. And even crazier still, at times, we might occasionally find ourselves trying
0:30.4	to teach or lecture or even punish those who we feel are playing the role of martyr or victim.
0:36.5	Well, Dr. Stephen Cartman identified these
0:38.4	three roles, the victim, the persecutor, and the rescuer, as part of what has become known
0:42.9	as the Cartman Drama Triangle. Understanding the Drama Triangle can not only help you recognize
0:48.2	the negative roles that we kind of tend to gravitate to and strong, emotion-filled interactions,
0:53.2	a.k.a. drama, but also how to get
0:55.8	out of these unhealthy situations. So we're going to talk about that and plenty more coming up on
0:59.9	today's episode of the virtual couch.
1:12.9	Hey, I promise I'm going to try to do this.
1:16.9	In less than a minute, as a therapist myself, I recommend that everybody give therapy a try.
1:23.0	I believe we're all kind of hanging on to things that would be helpful to process or things we might have thought we would achieve by now.
1:26.5	Or maybe our anxiety or depression is up based on all the events of the world.
1:31.1	And if that is the case, you owe it to yourself to give therapy a try.
1:34.3	If you need to, go find someone in your local area.
1:36.7	But if not, look at betterhelp.com.
	...

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