Why Can it Be So Difficult To Understand The Plight of Others? Understanding The Ego

The Virtual Couch

Tony Overbay LMFT

Education, Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Self-improvement

5 • 643 Ratings

🗓️ 9 June 2020

⏱️ 26 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Right now we need to be able to listen, empathize and understand our brothers and sisters more than ever...but why can that be so difficult at times? Even when many people stop to listen, why do their brains immediately go to, "yeah, I hear you, but you don't understand my..." Whatever comes after the "but" or "my" in conversations tends to be an "empathy-killer" at a time when we truly need to increase our empathy skills! Welcome to your Ego! - In today's episode, Tony refers to an article by Mark Leary, Ph.D. Dr. Leary is the Garonzik Family Professor of Psychology and Neuroscience at Duke University and author of The Curse of the Self. In his article What Is The Ego and Why Is It So Involved In My Life https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toward-less-egoic-world/201905/what-is-the-ego-and-why-is-it-so-involved-in-my-life (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toward-less-egoic-world/201905/what-is-the-ego-and-why-is-it-so-involved-in-my-life) Dr. Leary does a wonderful job at explaining our egos, and why it can be so difficult to step outside of one's self and truly listen to others. Tony takes Dr. Leary's thoughts on ego and shares some things that you can do immediately after listening to move forward with an increased amount of empathy. - Tony's FREE parenting course, “Tips For Parenting Positively Even In the Not So Positive Times” is available NOW. Just go to http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ (http://tonyoverbay.com/courses/ )and sign up today. This course will help you understand why it can be so difficult to communicate with and understand your children. You’ll learn how to keep your buttons hidden, how to genuinely give praise that will truly build inner wealth in your child, teen, or even in your adult children, and you’ll learn how to move from being “the punisher” to being someone your children will want to go to when they need help. And Tony is so confident that this program will work, that he's offering a money-back guarantee! - This episode of The Virtual Couch is sponsored by Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch (http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch) With the continuing “sheltering” rules that are spreading across the country PLEASE do not think that you can’t continue or begin therapy now. Betterhelp.com/virtualcouch (http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch) can put you quickly in touch with licensed mental health professionals who can meet through text, email, or videoconference often as soon as 24-48 hours. And if you use the link http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch (http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch) you will receive 10% off your first month of services. Please make your own mental health a priority, http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch (http://betterhelp.com/virtualcouch) offers affordable counseling, and they even have sliding scale options if your budget is tight. - Tony's new best selling book "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" is now available on Kindle. https://amzn.to/38mauBo (https://amzn.to/38mauBo) - Tony Overbay, is the co-author of "He's a Porn Addict...Now What? An Expert and a Former Addict Answer Your Questions" now available on Amazon https://amzn.to/33fk0U4 (https://amzn.to/33fk0U4). The book debuted in the number 1 spot in the Sexual Health Recovery category and remains there as the time of this record. The book has received numerous positive reviews from professionals in the mental health and recovery fields. --

Transcript

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0:00.0	Coming up on today's episode of the virtual couch, why can it be so difficult to just try and
0:06.1	understand the plight of others? You know, right now we need to be able to listen, empathize,
0:11.2	and understand our brothers and sisters more than ever, but why is that so difficult? Even when
0:17.2	many people stop to listen, why do our brains immediately go to, well, yeah, I hear you, but you don't understand my, you know, fill in the blank or whatever comes after the but or my in those conversations tends to be what I like to call an empathy killer at a time when we truly need to increase our empathy skills.
0:34.7	Well, welcome to the world of your ego.
0:39.9	Today on this episode of the virtual couch, we're going to talk about your ego. Why it's so hard to not think of I or me or mine
0:46.0	and how being aware of that concept of ego will get you even closer toward empathy. And we all
0:53.5	want to be heard.
0:54.8	So that and more coming up on today's episode of the Virtual Couch.
1:07.8	Hey, I promise I'm going to try to do this in less than a minute.
1:11.8	As a therapist myself,
1:15.5	I recommend that everybody give therapy a try. I believe we're all kind of hanging on to things that would be helpful to process or things we might have thought we would achieve by now.
1:19.8	Or maybe our anxiety or depression is up based on all the events of the world. And if that is the
1:24.9	case, you owe it to yourself to give therapy a try. If you need to, go find someone in your local area.
1:31.1	But if not, look at betterhelp.com. Betterhelp.com slash virtual couch. You'll get 10% off your first month services, but betterhelp.com slash virtual couch.
1:39.7	And you'll have access to what 750, 800,000 people now have done before you of getting help that they need.
1:47.8	There's a broad range of expertise in BetterHelp.com slash virtual couches counselor network.
1:52.3	It's available for clients worldwide.
1:53.9	You can be up and going in 24 to 48 hours.
1:56.8	The assessment tool is incredible.
1:58.7	You can look at all kinds of different types of therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy,
2:03.7	cognitive behavioral therapy.
	...

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