How to Actually Handle Feelings with Dr. Marc Brackett

Raising Good Humans

Dear Media, Aliza Pressman

Toddler, Sinai, Mount, Doctor, Mother, Science, Dear, Baby, Motherhood, Parenting, Psychology, Pressman, Education, Humans, Seedlings, Kids & Family, Adolescence, Children, Child, Childhood, Parent, Good, Raising, Infant, Media, Aliza

4.6 • 1.8K Ratings

🗓️ 19 September 2025

⏱️ 58 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In today’s episode I sit down with Dr. Marc Brackett, Director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and author of Permission to Feel and Dealing with Feeling, to get precise about what emotion regulation actually is. We break down the PRIME framework (prevent, reduce, initiate, maintain, enhance), and the Meta-Moment: a brief attentional and physiological reset (pause + breath + values cue) that widens the stimulus→response gap and supports values-congruent behavior. We differentiate co-regulation from co-dysregulation, explore anticipatory strategies for high-stress routines, and dig into the impact of “positive empathy.”

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Transcript

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0:00.0	The following podcast is a Dear Media production.
0:10.3	Welcome to Raising Good Humans podcast. I'm Dr. Lisa Pressman, and I'm holding the book Dealing
0:18.2	With Feeling by Dr. Mark Brackett, who's the director of the Yale Center for
0:22.6	Emotional Intelligence. He's also the author of the bestselling book, Permission to Feel,
0:27.1	which we've talked about on this very podcast. And I cannot wait for this conversation.
0:33.3	Thank you. I think at the end of the day, we've talked about this before, we need to know how to deal with our own feelings and regulate our emotions instead of focusing so much on having our kids regulate their emotions.
0:49.3	But I think maybe one follows the other.
0:51.9	But since you're the world's leading expert on emotion
0:54.7	regulation, I shall be quiet now. And I just want you to go. And I want you to first tell us
1:01.7	exactly why you're giving us this book. Okay. So, you know, it's interesting because we did speak
1:08.9	when I wrote Permission to Feel, and I remember
1:11.9	having just an amazing conversation with you. And, you know, that conversation was around, you know,
1:17.0	why we need to give ourselves the permission to feel, and there's no such thing as a bad emotion.
1:22.0	All these things that we all agree upon, a psychologist, you know, who study feelings and work with
1:26.8	people. And then the pandemic hit. And I was, you know, who study feelings and work with people. And then the pandemic hit.
1:29.8	And I was, you know, my center closed because the university closed. And I had 50 employees at the time,
1:37.5	and everybody was going out of their minds, you know, moms raising kids and on Zoom for the first time
1:43.2	working and people were just freaking out.
1:46.4	I had employees from Yale calling me that they were getting, you know, like, beaten up at the grocery store for coming too close for somebody.
1:54.3	I had my own issues because as I share in my book, for me, it was pretty eye-opening how unskilled I was because my mother-in-law
2:04.0	got stuck with us. And it just, we thought she was going to go home after two, three weeks.
2:11.0	Lo and behold, she stayed with us for eight months. And, you know, we just all hated each other
	...

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