I used to think that being mean to myself was disciplined.

But here's what I discovered after building a multimillion dollar company.

The difference between successful people and everybody else is not that they don't mess up.

It's that they have a system for bouncing back in minutes, not months.

So today, I'm going to share with you the exact five-step mental framework

that turned my biggest failures into my

biggest breakthroughs. Number one, self-punishment is not discipline. Let's destroy the biggest

lie that high achievers tell themselves. You think beating yourself up is discipline. It is actually

the enemy of discipline. Champions don't punish themselves longer. They recover faster. This might be

hard to picture. But imagine this.

I, six years ago, remember the moment that I was pacing around my condo at 3 a.m. like a

freaking caged tiger. Okay. And the reason was I had just lost an enormous deal because I had

gotten defensive in a meeting. So instead of calling that person the next morning,

I remember I spent three days just like beating the crap out of myself for what happened.

And then I remember something that changed everything.

I went to dinner with my friend on the third night,

and I remember arriving at dinner,

and I had that feeling of just like anxiety in my stomach where

like I didn't even want to eat, I didn't want to be there, I just was going to the dinner because it had been scheduled. And I'm explaining to her what I did, how I messed up in the situation, how I felt ridiculous because I'd lost the $30 million deal, and I felt terrible for screwing up. And I felt like I deserved to because I knew better than that. And I remember, I'll never forget, she stopped midbyte and she goes,

So you're telling me that instead of And I felt like I deserved to because I knew better than that. And I remember, I'll never forget, she stopped midbite and she goes,

So you're telling me that instead of spending the last 72 hours winning that partner back,

you decided to sulk and feel sorry for yourself?

...