How Subtle Self-Abandonment Actually Shows Up (A Recent Personal Example)
A New Way of Being
Simon Mundie
4.8 • 523 Ratings
🗓️ 13 January 2026
⏱️ 10 minutes
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Summary
This is a real example from my own life of how self-abandonment can show up in very subtle ways — and what changes when you stay with yourself instead. If this resonates and you’d like to explore it further, I’m hosting a free live webinar where we’ll look at how self-abandonment operates moment to moment, and how to stay centred.
I am hosting a free webinar this evening Tuesday January 13th at 8pm called How To Stop Abandoning Yourself (and Live From Presence).
Register here: https://zoom.us/meeting/register/b-bZ_YIJRZClJPdyluZeLg#/registration
If you can't make it - read about my coaching or book a 1:1 consultation: https://calendly.com/simon-wgw/find-your-flow-intro-chat
I will mention group coaching options in tonight's webinar.
Hope to see you there!
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | I noticed something subtle with my dad recently that would have been a self-abandonment 10 years ago. |
| 0:11.0 | I talk about this subject a lot. It's fundamentally important in my view, but I want to show how subtle it can be. |
| 0:20.0 | My birthday is on December the 6th and every year I have |
| 0:27.9 | a bash where I get together my friends and my family and it's a lovely tradition and this year |
| 0:37.1 | fun as always and I had one moment where I was sat with my best friend and my dad. |
| 0:45.2 | Now, my best friend and dad on the surface are very different, but over the years I've come to realize they share many traits. |
| 0:53.0 | And we were having a chat about current affairs and my dad said something |
| 0:57.6 | innocuous however i noticed this pattern in me or rather this thought arise of dad is thinking in black |
| 1:08.1 | and white terms and then an impasse to, let's correct him, let's |
| 1:12.6 | enable him, allow him to see a more enlightened view. Now, these patterns still come up for me. |
| 1:22.6 | These patterns come up after an awakening. The only difference is they don't stick. They don't have a place to |
| 1:28.9 | land. They don't hook. And I'll explain why that is. And so I noticed this impulse and this pattern to |
| 1:36.3 | come up without resisting it or without identifying it with it. And what I noticed was, the narrative was, oh, let me show you where you're going wrong. |
| 1:48.8 | Let me show you a more intelligent way to look at it. Underneath that I noticed was actually an |
| 1:54.3 | impulse to get approval. I want my dad's approval, which is an old pattern stemming from when I was a kid. |
| 2:03.4 | Now, most of us seek the approval, all of us probably, of our parents. |
| 2:10.0 | It obviously makes total sense when we're growing up, and that pattern can last really for your whole lifetime. |
| 2:18.3 | Now, interestingly, it wasn't just approval, there was a pattern underneath that. |
| 2:24.3 | And that was, please love me. |
| 2:28.3 | Now, when I was growing up, my dad and I, we're a bit yin and yang in some respects, not in |
| 2:38.5 | others, but he is, for example, he's an engineer, he's very practical. I'm not practically |
| 2:43.5 | minded at all, but I'm more, let's say, emotionally attuned. Anyway, so because my dad was, he was successful, lovely man, successful, he ran his own |
... |
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