How did one night stands make you feel afterwards?

Well, like I said, most of them happened when I was pretty lost.

So when I was 27, I went through this breakup.

I've been with a girl for five and a half years.

Yeah.

And went through this breakup.

It was the hardest thing that I'd ever experienced in my life to that point.

And it completely changed my life.

You know, I would never would have moved to Australia without it.

I don't think I'd be anywhere near as emotional than I am now.

I certainly wasn't a cryer before and now I am.

So I think that I was very lost then and I didn't feel comfortable enough to go on dates

with people. I did, I feel like in a way that was somehow cheating even though I wasn't

together anymore. And I wasn't anywhere near ready to be in a relationship with someone. So I

suppose one nightstands was my only card remaining. Yeah. I didn't know. It took me ages to sort of

sleep there anymore. But eventually one night stands was was the card that I could play. Rather than fill the gap of no longer

having a connection with someone that you're in a relationship with, they sort of reminded me

what I no longer had, you know, they would be... Oh, that's sad. You have sex with someone and you

weirdly are thinking, oh, it's just not, it's not the same. It's not the same person. I don't feel anything for this person. It was just very uncomfortable for me. Like I said, they were always very transactional. It was always... Yeah, same, yeah. It's always like an agreement, isn't it? It's like an agreement. We're going to do this. We're never going to see each other again.

And actually, that's not a fun agreement, is it?

It's like, oh, we're going to do this, but then it's going to be over and we'll never see each other again. And it's like this kind of dead end, isn't it? It's quite horrible. And what I struggled with was the intimacy of it, but not the sex.

The sex is whatever.

...