How sex on screen really works - with the intimacy coordinator behind Normal People, Sex Education and I May Destroy You

Should I Delete That?

Alex Light & Em Clarkson

Society & Culture, Unknown

4.8 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 15 December 2025

⏱️ 62 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Let’s talk about sex…

Today, we’re speaking to Ita O’Brien - the intimacy coordinator behind the intimate scenes in Normal People, I May Destroy You, Bridgerton, It’s a Sin, Sex Education and more…

After training as an actor, dancer and movement coach - Ita created the ‘Intimacy On Set Guidelines’ - which protects actors and performers during scenes that involve nudity or sex.

Her work pre-dates the Me Too movement but was bought to public attention in the wake of the Weinstein scandal. Ita explained why her work is so vital, why having an intimacy coordinator benefits everyone on set, and how creating realistic sex has a positive impact far beyond the actors on set...

Ita’s book Intimacy guides us through how she helps actors create authentic sex scenes, and how we can use those techniques to rebuild a deeper and healthier connection with our bodies, create a safe space for exploration, and rethink how we navigate sex and intimacy in our own lives and in society as a whole. The book contains behind-the-scenes insights, practical exercises and guidance to help us communicate boundaries and navigate everyday relationships. You can get your copy here!

Find out more about Ita's work at https://www.intimacyonset.com/

Follow @itaobrien_ on Instagram

Follow @intimacy_on_set on Instagram

If you want to get in touch you can email us on [email protected]

@shouldideletethat

@em_clarkson

@alexlight_ldn

Should I Delete That is produced by Faye Lawrence

Studio Manager: Elliott Mckay

Video Editor: Celia Gomez

Social Media Manager: Sarah English

Music: Alex Andrew

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Breath and sound is what sells it. Same as a fight. You know, the person who's receiving the punch, it's that, ah. So the same with the pleasure, you know, when Harry met Sally, she taught us everything. You know, that breath. Hello and welcome back to delete that. I'm Alex Light. I'm in blocks. I'll tell you what we needed for that. What? An intimacy coordinator.
0:21.5	No, we did.
0:22.3	Looking right into each other's eyes and neither of us knew what to do next.
0:24.9	Oh, you teed that up so well. Thank you so much. It's like, it's a job. Welcome back to should I delete that. Welcome back. Let's talk about sex. Let's talk about sex, baby.
0:34.9	Absolutely bang of that.
0:36.8	Great guest today.
0:39.4	What a guess?
0:39.8	Have a conversation we've wanted. that sex, baby. Absolutely bang of that. Great guest today.
0:39.4	What a guess? Have a conversation we wanted to have, probably for longer than I care to admit.
0:44.3	I had questions. Ever since we interviewed the casting director Kelly, Valentine Hendry,
0:50.4	years ago now, she did the casting for Bridgeton. And she talked about intimacy coordinators and we were like, what?
0:57.8	They exist.
0:58.9	Yeah.
0:59.1	And that was on the back.
0:59.9	We spoke to her on the back of Nicola Coughlin getting cast and obviously doing those
1:05.8	like sex scenes in Bridgeton.
1:07.3	And it was kind of the first time really that a protagonist had not been a size
1:11.9	six or eight in a series like that. And it was really, and she was very, I mean, like, like,
1:20.3	I don't know, sexy and free. Like, I don't know. It was like titty's out, you know, it was a party.
1:26.8	It was really cool. And we loved that at the time was like, it was a party. It was really cool.
1:27.5	It was. And we loved that at the time. We loved that conversation with Kelly. And then since then we were like, no, we need to know how the sausages made. You know what I'm saying? And we spoke to Iita O'Brien, who has been the intimacy coordinator for normal people, one of the best series I've ever seen, I think. May I may destroy you,
1:46.7	also one of the best series I've ever seen. So good. And sex education. She has worked on
	...

Transcript will be available on the free plan in 22 days. Upgrade to see the full transcript now.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Alex Light & Em Clarkson, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Alex Light & Em Clarkson and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.