This is Jay Parker with this week's sex chat quickie. I once spoke at a couple's event where the

leading pastor introduced me to a practice that the couples there had clearly done before.

He started every session asking us to stand up and embrace our spouse for a full 20 seconds.

The first few seconds with my husband were good. Then it began to feel like forever,

that hanging on. But toward the end, we seemed to melt into it, tension releasing and feeling

really connected. That was over two years ago and my husband and I still practiced 20 second

hugs, usually once a day and sometimes more often. How's the hugging in your marriage? Do you take

time to hold one another? Is it a quick squeeze and move on? Have you tried longer embraces? That 20

seconds is a good goal. It may feel like a long time when you first do it, but research has shown that

after about 20 seconds of an embrace, our bodies release oxytocin, often called the bonding chemical.

Apparently, God created us to experience a sense of oneness when we truly cleave to one another.

You can find other ways to hug as well, wrapping arms around each other while waiting in line

somewhere, cuddling up on the couch to watch a show, snuggling in bed before you fall asleep.

All of those moments can help to create a sense of

safety, calm, and support in your marriage. If you want to add some sexy to it, try hugging each other

naked. Skin-to-skin contact can feel really good. Make sure you linger for a while, just enjoying the

embrace before you move on to anything else, though you don't have to move on to sexual activity

right away. Just introducing more hugging into your relationship can set the tone for a better

bonded marriage that leads to greater relationship satisfaction and the kind of sexy simmering

that makes for quality lovemaking whenever you're ready for it. So how's your hugging? Go grab your

husband and give it a try.

That's it for this week's sex chat quickie. We'll be back next week with a full episode.

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