Hi, this is Janet Landsbury. Welcome to UnRuffled. Today I'm going to be doing

something a little bit different. I'm going to be talking about some thoughts

that have come to me recently based on, first of all, a success story that I

received that I'm going to read here and various comments on various things I've

posted. I've been reminded of a way of perceiving our children's behavior and

our role in it that was pivotal for me as a parent in becoming a confident

leader for my children.

So basically this understanding that I want to share today is about seeing our

child when they're being demanding, when they're repeating an unwanted behavior,

challenging behavior, that what's actually going on there a lot of the time is

that they are stuck. They are stuck in an uncomfortable place for them and

that's the part that they can't really tell us. They can only tell us that

through this behavior. So to generalize what they need is for us to help them

get unstuck and that usually means that we are more confident in our boundary

that we're more welcoming of their feelings around the boundary which are often

loaded with a buildup of a motion that they have that they do need to share and

that's part of the reason they're pushing. Whatever it is or continuing whatever

it is. And then what happens is that we free them. I just want to encourage it to

those that are uncomfortable setting boundaries like I was. I was much more

about people pleaser. I didn't want to confront and disappoint anybody and make

my child upset. There are a lot of parents that lead in this direction and it

was so helpful to me to understand that my reticence wasn't as loving as the

...