"How My Worst Relationship Led to Real Growth"
Seeing Other People
Ilana Dunn
4.5 • 608 Ratings
🗓️ 26 June 2025
⏱️ 55 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this Unfiltered, a 39-year-old New Yorker opens up about dating a guy who was terrible for her, but ultimately changed her life for the better. Before, she was stuck in the “cool girl” role, hiding her needs and feeling constant anxiety. After this relationship led her to work with a relationship coach, she learned to be honest with herself and others and date without shame, leading to her now connecting with people who don’t trigger her fears.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This podcast is brought to you by Podcast Nation. |
| 0:07.7 | I'm anonymous and I live in New York City. |
| 0:11.6 | I'm 39 years old and going to talk about one thing that changed dating for me in a really, |
| 0:18.5 | really big way. |
| 0:20.0 | First of all, I do need to mention what just |
| 0:22.6 | happened a few minutes ago. I have been under the impression that Anonymous was like around my |
| 0:29.7 | age, which is 30, like give or take year in either direction. And I said, hey, Anonymous, |
| 0:36.4 | this is how we're going to start. |
| 0:54.5 | I'm going to say this and you're going to say that. You can give your age and where you live or not. And she, like, practiced it. And my jaw has never dropped more than when she said she was 39. I literally like, I was like, wait, what did you say? It took me a second to process. I thought that you were shocked that I, like, live in New York City. Like, I didn't know it was my... You're like, wait, what? |
| 0:55.4 | Because I'm like, what is she surprised about? |
| 0:57.4 | I know you live in New York. No, I know, but I didn't realize you didn't know my age. So when you were like surprised about something, I'm like, what? Like, what is she not? No, I just didn't realize it was my age. Do you know what I mean? Like, what are you like? Do you feel 39? |
| 1:14.6 | No. |
| 1:18.6 | No. Like, if you had to give yourself an age, what would it be? So I think about this a lot and I have felt 27 for a while, |
| 1:31.1 | but like in certain ways I also really don't because there's so much that's changed since I was |
| 1:36.3 | 27 in wonderful ways, but then there's a lot that still feels the same. And interestingly, |
| 1:41.5 | like 27 was my age before I met the guy who was my most serious boyfriend, my relationship of five years. |
| 1:49.1 | And like, I've been dating a bunch since then, but I haven't been in something as serious. |
| 1:55.0 | So I'm like, oh, is there any sort of element that's like back to the age that I was before that relationship because |
| 2:01.9 | now I'm not because I'm out of it and back to dating again and like being single and you know |
| 2:07.1 | totally is that five-year relationship the relationship we're going to focus on not no okay |
| 2:12.8 | actually it's it makes six way in but no okay. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. |
| 2:17.7 | Where should we begin? |
... |
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