This episode was produced with audio effects in full surround sound.

For the best experience, we kindly recommend you listen with headphones.

Oh, now that's cute. Oh, hello again, oh, now that's cute. Oh, hello again. Oh, don't mind me. I'm just scrolling through dog videos. Oh, look at this one. The two dogs are posing for a picture and it looks like they're hugging. Oh, oh, forget the ghosts of Christmas.

A puppy could melt the coldest heart.

Ah, I would love to get a dog but Mrs. Claws won't allow it. She says you have

nine reindeer seven swans six geese four calling birds three French hens, two turtle doves, and a

partridge in a pear tree. Isn't that enough? No! A heart is never too full

for love, especially if there's a furry little guy.

Ah, but she may be right.

You never know what kind of dog you're going to get. They might chew up the toy factory or chase

the elves or worse. They might just be the devil in disguise.

Now the letter I have here, oh what remains of it at least,

arrived from an animal shelter.

Unfortunately, it looks like a dog ate half my homework.

But there's just enough evidence to peace this story.

And I suspect if we follow the trail, we'll find the hellhound responsible.

So then, gather round and listen close. Oh, His name had to be clever. It had to be fun. Something that rang with the Christmas spirit.

I called him Ebenezer.

It was a compromise, really.

No one will adopt a dog with a name like Krampus yet calling him Rudolph was in every way wrong

So I settled in the middle with a name that I hoped maybe could have set the stage for a happy

wholesome ending I should have called him devil the day they brought him in, Van rocking, headaches, barking.

...