How Micromanaging Your Relationship Is Pushing Your Partner Away

The Angry Therapist Podcast

John Kim

Mental Health, Health & Fitness

4.6 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 11 June 2025

⏱️ 26 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Today, John explores how love often uncovers unresolved wounds, revealing the deeper work still to be done. He emphasizes the value of peace in a relationship over the illusion of control, and champions vulnerability and trust as the cornerstones of a lasting connection. I'm running a 7-Day "Done with the Bullsh*t" Detox — this isn't the kind with green juice and caffeine withdrawals. It's a soul-level cleanse. Here’s what you’ll detox each day: Day 1: Cancel old contracts — the silent agreements you never meant to make. Day 2: Break up with people-pleasing and reclaim your no. Day 3: Unfollow the fantasy and stop chasing someone else’s timeline. Day 4: Mute your inner critic and replace it with compassion. Day 5: Cut out comparison and come back to your own path. Day 6: Starve the reflex to fix everything — choose stillness instead. Day 7: Fast from the noise and finally hear yourself again. This isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about coming home to who you’ve always been. This challenge is only $7 and starts June 16th. ⁠SIGN UP HERE⁠. Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE Jump into John’s new Single. On Purpose app HERE Follow John on Instagram HERE Find out more about John HERE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	So if you watch my podcast on YouTube and you see that I'm wearing this Hawaiian shirt, not a Hawaiian shirt, it's kind of like a, I don't know, it's like a floral shirt. And you're like, God, you just, is that the only shirt you wear? I just want to tell you that if you haven't moved to a new country, this is the process. You pack up all your shit and you have like
0:22.9	three shirts and, you know, seven pairs of underwear, socks, two pair of jeans, and you go very
0:30.2	minimal. And I'm sharing this because I've never done this before and there's something freeing about wearing the same shirt, the same pants.
0:44.3	You know, first you don't have to think about what you want to wear because this is all you have.
0:46.8	But two, it makes me realize how much shit I had my closet, you know?
0:52.7	Who's the, was it at one point, I think in the 90s, all the
0:57.9	billionaires, the tech billionaires, they were just wearing like a black t-shirt and paint.
1:02.8	Who was the Apple guy? Steve Jobs. He only had like one outfit, right? And I think then Mark
1:09.4	Zuckenberg started doing it. Other people were just
1:11.4	wearing, and yes, they might have 50 of the same shirts, but they just, they did that so they could
1:16.6	not think about, they could have one less decision to make. And I think, uh, Marie condoing your
1:24.8	shit where you just have your favorite few things and that's what you wear
1:29.4	and you wash them and you wear them and you wash them and you wash them and wear them instead
1:33.3	of collecting and buying more stuff. I think I think that's a good thing. And also it's kind of
1:39.4	prescribed for me as we're moving from city to beach slash jungle, Costa Rica.
1:46.9	Anyway, and yes, I am on YouTube if you want to watch my videos like everyone else.
1:53.3	Man, I hate when people are like, grow your YouTube, grow this, grow that, your channels.
1:59.7	I'm trying, number one, and two, it takes me away from the joy of doing this, you know,
2:07.2	starting on Tumblr 2010, first with blogs and then social media and then audio.
2:14.3	I'm still making sure that I am documenting and doing it in a way that's still fun and
2:20.4	honest to me. And then I'm going to get pressure to grow channels. It takes me away from that.
2:27.2	It's also like writing, you know. You could get, you could fall into the trap of the production, the book sales. I think the reason why I wrote
	...

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