How judgment in relationships destroys love and connection
Love and Abuse
Paul Colaianni
4.6 • 816 Ratings
🗓️ 17 June 2019
⏱️ 37 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Judgment is the ultimate relationship destroyer. It is the key to creating a rift so wide that the relationship issues might get to the point of unresolvable.
Once you reach that stage, there's no turning back. This episode lays out some key factors in helping the judgmental person become self-aware and change their behavior before they completely destroy the relationship.
Love and Abuse is the official podcast of The M.E.A.N. Workbook on manipulation and emotional abuse at loveandabuse.com. #loveandabuse
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to Love and Abuse, the show about helping you identify poisonous communication and toxic behavior. |
| 0:07.4 | You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. |
| 0:10.9 | That's why it's important that you learn to pinpoint manipulative and controlling behavior |
| 0:15.1 | so that you keep your power and your sanity. |
| 0:18.6 | I'm your host, Paul Koliani. |
| 0:35.7 | Music power and your sanity. I'm your host, Paul Koliani. Welcome to another episode of love and abuse. Welcome back. If you're a new listener, welcome back. If you're a new listener, |
| 0:43.8 | this is the show where I talk about the difficulties we have in relationships, really what it comes down to. And one of the difficulties can be something I'm going to talk about today, |
| 0:48.7 | which is judgment. You know, in my not too long ago youth, I was a very judgmental person. In fact, I wrote an |
| 0:58.6 | article about it at the Overwhelmedbrain.com, my other blog and podcast, where I talk about judgment |
| 1:05.7 | being the ultimate relationship destroyer. It sounds like a movie title, but it was really true. Every single |
| 1:14.9 | romantic relationship in my life up until this one suffered from my judgments. And so in my early |
| 1:22.4 | 40s, I started realizing maybe I have a problem. Maybe I'm the common denominator for all the breakups that are |
| 1:29.5 | happening in my life. Maybe it's something I need to look at. And so I decided to. And it was just about |
| 1:36.7 | the time my wife and I were getting separated and separated in the sense of, hey, let's take |
| 1:42.9 | some time apart so we can work on ourselves |
| 1:44.7 | and come back together as better people. |
| 1:47.3 | And that truly was the agreement. |
| 1:48.9 | And when that happened, I was able to reflect on what I was doing and realize that my |
| 1:55.3 | high judgments of her was really affecting us. It was really causing a huge rift. I mean, I would come home and |
| 2:05.4 | if she was not doing something that I wanted her to do or doing something that I didn't want |
| 2:11.3 | her to do, I would be a jerk. I wouldn't even be outwardly a jerk. I would give her the silent treatment. |
| 2:20.7 | Silent treatment can be just as awful as being yelled at, if not worse, sometimes. At least when |
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