How I’ve Made Women Feel Unsafe

The Angry Therapist Podcast

John Kim

Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.6 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 4 March 2026

⏱️ 31 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode, I walk through my past relationships and take ownership of the ways I’ve been unsafe. I share specific moments - steamrolling my ex-wife with logic instead of empathy, making subtle body comments that landed harder than I understood, ending relationships abruptly, and moving on too quickly after a breakup. At the time, I justified a lot of it. Looking back, I see the impact. I also talk about asking my current partner to tell me how I’ve made her feel unsafe over the past eight years. I held her, promised not to defend myself, and listened. And I cried. This isn’t about shame. It’s about ownership. If you’re a man listening, the question isn’t “Am I a good guy?”It’s: Where have I been unsafe — and what would it mean to do better? 🎙️ Host Links: 📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	My name is Sherlock Holmes.
0:02.0	It's an unusual name.
0:03.0	Introducing Young Sherlock, a new Guy Ritchie series.
0:07.0	What game are we playing today?
0:09.0	Discover the origins.
0:10.0	It's cleaving. Those days are surely behind me.
0:12.0	Of crime's most iconic mind.
0:14.0	There has been a break-in.
0:17.0	Astoned. You should be a detective.
0:19.0	Starring Hero finds Tiffin Donald finn and Colin
0:21.6	Firth if you start wearing a hat like that i will no longer be friends with you young Sherlock
0:26.7	new original series watch now only on prime video it's important for me to try to make women feel safer
0:35.5	and i still don't know exactly what that looks like, but I know it starts with me and I know
0:39.3	it starts at home, right?
0:40.5	And I just want to offer that to you.
0:42.4	It may look different for you.
0:44.2	But what are some things you can do?
0:46.5	And you may not have the answers now, but where are some things you can do to make women
0:50.4	in this world feel safer?
1:00.0	Yeah. women in this world feel safer. My name is John Kim. This is the Angry Therapist podcast and today's going to be a difficult
1:06.0	episode for me. Let me explain. I'm going to tell you all the ways that I have been unsafe as a man
1:15.4	in my relationships. I don't know how deep I'm going to go. I know I'm going to be as honest as I can.
	...

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